#kind sentiment ryan but you should definitely never do that

[bobomcfoe]

I SLEPT IN

[harryskalechips]

one and done

A/N Hi everyone! I’m back with a one shot :) I know I don’t write as often anymore but since I’m self quarantining and I’m just about finish with high school, I thought I should try and give it another go? I’m also re starting up my jewellery business so ahhh many goals in mind but no motivation ??? Okay, I hope you guys enjoy this one!!! It is definitely a slow burn with smut but part 2? I dunno!!

Y/N and her brother’s best friend Harry, has had some pent up sexual frustration for a while. Wouldn’t it be best if they just had a one and done? you know to get it out of their system ;) 

*smut includes spanking, choking, male and female receives oral, harry dom but Y/N rides, magic face cream treatment for anti wrinkling results? Yes, and what else? sub space, hair pulling, gosh I forgot please read it 😁

Word Count: 6.1k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST

“Don’t you think it's a bit of a cliché to be crushing on your brother’s best friend?” Ness teases Y/N as they walk out of her house. They were just on the steps about to go on a walk around the block. It was definitely one of their favourite things to do as the sun was just about to set.

Y/N had her butt sat on the spruced wooden steps as she ignored her best friend’s comment. First off, she knew it was a cliché. Secondly, her last encounter with him just seconds ago was already making her plan her own execution.

In her head, it was simply her just jumping out of her window multiple times until she lost consciousness. Ness on the other hand was standing up, watching the poor girl tie her laces. “Okay, I was just teasing. We can change the topic.” She lends her hand out for Y/N to take.

“It’s not just that Ness.” She gladly accepts the gesture and stands up. She wipes off her butt and glances back at the door. “I’ve never had a thing for him! Ryan and Harry have been best mates since what? 8th grade and for some reason ever since the cruise from last summer, I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“It’s because he was shirtless half of the time.” Ness laughs as she hands Y/N’s water bottle to her. “Okay, we can admit it though. As a senior he is 10 times more attractive than he ever was. He looks like a frat boy that could jump my bones.”  Y/N stops walking and just stares at Ness while the girl continues to walk. She grabs her hand and pulls her forward. “Okay, I’m sorry for the bad comment.”

“He is hot though. Really hot.” Y/N smiles.

“See, that’s why you should sleep with him.”

“What are you crazy? Ness, Ryan would kill me or him -maybe the both of us!” 

“It’s pent up sexual frustration. Harry legit watched us walk out your door while eating a banana and you still managed to trip on your shoes.” She laughs.

“He was making eye contact with me!”

“All I’m saying is that he throws parties at his house and always invites us despite y’know us being juniors. Just offer, do it, slip out, and never say anything about it ever again.” Ness elbows Y/N as she crosses her arms. 

“Maybe I will.” She laughs pretending to actually sound confident in the idea.

“Good, there’s a party this Friday anyway.” Ness shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the best remedy sis.”

~

“Harry, can we talk?” Y/N follows him into the kitchen while everyone else is God knows where around the house. 

“Ryan is in the backyard, trying to get Cassidy back.” He barely glances at her as he pours himself a drink. He notices an empty one in her hand so he decides to pour coke in hers. 

“I um wasn’t really drinking coke.” She states confusedly as she watches the bubbles in her cup dissolve.

“You think I’m trying to get you drunk at this party. One alcoholic beverage is good enough for yeh.” He smiles at her as he screws the cap shut and taps the top of her head. He was treating her as if she was a child, which definitely pissed her off since she was going to ask him a really fucked up favour in the matter of 60 seconds.

“I can handle myself, you know.” 

“Yup.” He rests his back against the counter and bites the rim of the plastic cup as he looks at her. “What do you need though?” He genuinely asks her. Although they weren’t that close, Harry knew her long enough to know she wouldn’t start random a conversation with him. It was more like a hi and bye situation. Not her trying to actually talk to him. 

“I have a favour and you can’t tell Ryan.” Y/N lets out a big breath as she watches his reaction change into a confused one. 

“Look Y/N, if you want to try and smoke a blunt, I think it’s best you find yourself a dealer that doesn’t know your brother.”

“No, not that.” She whispers as she moves in closer. There were more people entering the kitchen and this was about to get really fucking awkward. 

“What?” He looks at her and notices her body shifting closer to him. Her chest was touching the side of his arm, making his eyes look towards the cabinets instead.

“I-”

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna fu-?” His eyes widen as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. Harry doesn’t even let her continue as he steps away from Ryan’s little sister. 

“I’m sorry do I already know the rest of that question?” He tries not to obviously choke on the liquid in his mouth.

“Well, I don’t know you didn’t really let me finish.”  Her sassy tone comes out. Her cheeks were really red and although Y/N came to the party with Ness feeling really confident in the dress she picked. She just wanted to go home and not show her face to him ever again. This was the stupidest idea! Why on earth did she think Harry would want to sleep with her when there are so many girls that try to get his attention. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He bites the inside of his cheek and watches some familiar people leave the room. Once it’s clear again, he speaks up. “Like are you serious?” He could feel his throat becoming more stuffy. “You and me?” She nods. “Really?” She nods again. “That’s crossing the line and Ryan is pretty overprotective. I can’t do that to him.”

“Cool.” Y/N stands perfectly still as she tries her best to maintain eye contact with him. She takes a sip of the coke but later, grabs the bottle of alcohol and pours it into her cup regardless of him watching her. “Well, don’t let Ryan know.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs. “Thanks for answering my survey!” She gives him an awkward smile then walks out of the room. How can a guy pass up on her??? First rejection has gotta sting. 

This wasn’t some weird guy she was asking though. This was Harry, Ryan’s best friend. If Ness was put in his position, she wouldn’t want her to say yes either. God, she was also going to kill her best friend for putting the most ridiculous game plan in her head.

And although the party continued on, Ness and Y/N didn’t let the earlier events bother them. The two spent hours just fucking around until they found a comfy spot in the living room.

“Y/N, don’t look.” Ness sits beside her on Harry’s couch watching a few strangers play an unfamiliar game on the floor. 

“What?” she quickly looks up to see what Ness is talking about. It wasn’t a surprise to see Harry holding Carla Laws’s hand as they walked up the stairs. They looked pretty excited for a room tour too.

Oh hell no, everyone knows a girl doesn’t go to Harry Styles’ room to just hold hands and a cute sentimental room tour!

“Are you sure he didn’t want to with you?”

“Yes Nessa.” She rolls her eyes and drinks her third cup. “Whatever, if anything at least I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I found a new ick. He doesn’t even find me attractive.”

“Good. Rejection may hurt but it makes you wake up and face reality.” 

~

Okay if there was one thing Y/N could say now, it was that she is finally over Harry. Overall, he was nothing but a phase. Yes, she was crushing on him for the first semester of the year but after that weird conversation they had, it made sense why they couldn’t work out anyway. He’s a stuck up douche - a typical senior, all while she was a junior who was either too infatuated with him or too horny. Maybe both?

It’s been about two weeks and although Ness made sure to keep trash talking the guy, Y/N knew there was more to him than what her best friend thought. She knew him for years! Maybe the fact he was athletic, charismatic and just kind that made her realize what a perfect guy he was. She knew he was a bit more complex than what other people thought of him and it wasn’t bad at all. 

What she never thought was how awkward it was going to be the next time she saw him. “Hey, Haz.” Ryan opens the door for his buddy as Y/N covers herself with the blanket more all while pretending to watch TV.

For the past couple of days, Ryan was going over to his house and maybe Harry asked him too to come over, but what she didn’t expect was to see him again so soon. 

“Hey Ryan.” Harry takes his jacket and boots off as it just begun to snow outside. “Hey Y/N.” She quickly glances at him and waves. 

“Let’s go to the kitchen first, I wanna get snacks.” Ryan suggests as he walks away, assuming Harry would follow him like usual. 

After thirty minutes, Y/N thought the boys would be upstairs but as she entered the kitchen wearing nothing but her shorts and her brother’s old t-shirt, she was surprised to see Harry and Ryan eating sandwiches at the breakfast bar, looking pretty serious. Did Harry tell him? 

As she walked closer, she noticed both boys were just on their phones, scrolling through different social media platforms. She quickly brushes past them to put her dish in the sink. Ryan seemed unbothered but she could definitely feel Harry’s eyes on her. Once she makes eye contact with him, he quickly takes a sip of his juice and looks at his phone once more. “Y/N can you grab the chips in the cabinet please?” Ryan looks up at his phone and notices his sister was standing right in front of the cupboard. 

“Yeah, no problem.” She turns her back on them and opens the cabinet. She goes on her tiptoes reaching for the only bag of chips. Once she grabs them, she puts them on the counter and walks out of the room, only hearing her brother murmur a thank you. 

It was about 6:30 PM and the parents weren’t home yet. Ryan and Harry decided to chill in the living room when the doorbell rang. Pausing the game, Ryan opened the door to see Tom standing in front of him. “Y/N it’s for you!” He calls out for his sister since he knew Tom was her friend.

“Who’s that?” Harry mouthed.

“Her boyfriend.” Ryan shrugs as he unpauses the game. 

“Tom? What are you doing here?” Y/N walks down the stairs, pulling her shirt down. 

“Vanessa told me to come by. Apparently you need help with the calculus homework? I’m free tonight anyway.” He smiles and gives her a hug. Tom was a really good friend of Ness and Y/N. He was a smart boy that was really kind and obviously had a big crush on Nessa. There was anything he could do for her. 

Y/N instantly bit her cheek and laughed as she remembered Ness’ text message a couple of hours ago when she told her Harry came by. This was definitely one of Ness’ master plans. “You’re so sweet.” She pulls away and laughs. “We can go upstairs, I have a few questions to ask.” She quickly glances at her brother who doesn’t care all while Harry tried his best to maintain his eyes on the screen. 

“Y/N, Put some shorts on!”  Ryan finally yells out as the two went up the stairs. 

~ 

“I don’t get why he throws parties every weekend.” Ness takes a sip of her drink as they sit inside Harry's dining room. They probably weren’t going to stay too long. Everyone was inside due to the cold weather with the occasional smokers outside. Being the only few juniors, there wasn’t much the girls could do other than loiter around, drink a few cups and play the games they knew so well. Y/N wasn’t the type to have random hook ups but you know her exception with Harry. 

“Gemma has gone off for college and Anne is always working really late shifts at the hospital. He’s pretty much anywhere and everywhere besides his house unless it’s a party.”

“True.” 

“I’m going to say bye to my brother then we can head back to mine if you want?” Y/N offers as Nessa nods and downs her drink. 

“I’m going to drink a cup of water. Meet you at the front?”

“Mhm.” They both stand up and leave the room. Nessa was heading straight to the kitchen while Y/N began to wander around the house. 

“Y/N.” Harry calls out her name over the music. He was wearing a while long sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned. It made him look really attractive which almost made Y/N lose her breath. 

“Hey Harry, You know where Ryan is?” The only typical thing she would ever ask him before that one time. (Pretending as if she didn’t sexually harass him last time.) 

“He’s downstairs with the rest of the boys.” He glances around at everyone and looks at her once more. “I’m sorry, are you um- leaving?”

“Yeah me and Nessa are going to call it a night.” She wraps her hoodie around her figure and tries to make her way to the stairs. 

“Want me to give you girls a ride?”

“No no, it’s okay!” She smiles and waves her hand at him. “Nessa drove. You also have a party to h-”

“It’s kind of late maybe she should head home and we can-” And that’s when it hit her. Was Harry Styles trying to isolate her? 

“Oh.” She widens her eyes and slowly nods. “Okay. I’ll let my brother and Ness know. Should I meet you in your car outside?”

“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair and quickly leaves her side. After bidding her farewell to Ryan and explaining her interpretation of Harry to Ness, she was  quietly leaving the house as she watched Nessa walk by herself to the car down the street. What surprised Y/N more was to see him in his brown jacket standing by the passenger door. 

“Did you tell Ryan I was dropping you off?” He  nervously smiles as he opens the door for her. He makes sure no one is watching them leave together as he feels the butterflies forming in his stomach. 

“No.” She puts her hood on and sits in his car. She was picking on her stockings trying to avoid the awkward tension between them. Once Harry sat inside and they both put their seatbelts on, they were on their way to her house. It was weird knowing she was actually leaving a party with her brother’s best friend so she could suck his- 

 “What happens if they notice you’re gone?”

“Um, I’m sure they’ll think i'm elsewhere doing stuff.” She knew what he was thinking about and that made her a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t change the fact it was true.

“Are you still down to y’know?” Harry honestly never thought he would be this nervous talking to Ryan’s little sister. 

“Yeah.” She bites her lip as they glance at each other. 

“Cool. Are you like a virgin or something. I mean is there anything that I should know about?”

“No.” She shakes her head and low-key observes how he drives. 

This was going to be one hell of a night. 

Harry has seen Y/N’s room a countless number of times but to actually be with her by themselves in Ryan’s house made him feel really guilty. That guilt however, was shoved in the back of his throat. The girl in the room with his was obviously the best distraction. “I like your room.” he smirks at her as he looks at her soccer trophy collection from grade school. 

“Thanks.” She laughs lightly as she takes off her jacket. She quickly texts an update to Ness before putting the phone on do not disturb. 

“So before we start, what made you ask the offer?” He takes his jacket off and throws it on her chair. He sits on her bed and glances at the time. It was still early, so people probably weren’t going to be looking for him. 

“This is going to sound really dumb but I’ve had this crush on you since the cruise last summer. Well, you know Nessa... she had this thought and she thinks it is just pent up sexual frustration?” She shakes her head of saying the whole idea out loud. “So I thought maybe I should just get it out of my system.” Harry laughs as he takes in of what she just said. it made her smile as well.

“You were checking me out all summer?” He asks her in disbelief. “Little Y/N wanted to jump my bones?” He started to smirk at her. Although they didn’t know each other too well, the awkward tension was gone with just one simple laugh of his. 

“Stop laughing.” She throws a pillow at him. “I didn’t think you would say no.”

“I didn’t want to say no Y/N are you crazy? I’m laughing because I kept checking you out in those tiny bikinis you used to wear.” He throws the pillow to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t want to cross Ryan like that but I think i need to get you out of my system too.”

“Mhm and why’s that?” She locks her door and sits on the bed with him. “Because Carla couldn’t distract me from seeing you in my sheets.” He leans in and kisses her. “Tom coming by a few days ago with you wearing nothing but those little shorts was already making me lose my mind.” He whispers and kisses her again. 

Y/N immediately sits on his lap while trying her best to keep his mouth on her’s. Everything about this was so hot. She was about to just rip his clothes off. 

“One and done yeah?” Y/N rubs herself on him as her fingers tangle themselves in his hair. He kisses down her neck while grabbing her ass. 

“One and done. Just to get you out of my system.” He confirms with her as he gently throws her on the bed. He’s pulling his long sleeve off and taking his shirt off but once he begins unbuckling his jeans, he couldn’t help but notice Y/N trying to take her shirt off as well. “Fuck.” He murmurs as he gently unbuttons her long sleeve to help her take it off. In a flash, he’s on his knees unzipping her skirt and taking her stockings off as well. “You looked really pretty tonight by the way.” His cheeks flush as he throws her bottoms behind his back. Y/N laughs quietly and she sits up and brings his face closer to hers. 

“I actually would like to say the same exact thing.” He leans in to kiss her once more. Her lips were extremely soft and forbidden and it was making him slowly lose his mind all over again. Y/N thought Harry was just a phase but that seemed impossible as she was already dreading the fact this was a one and done situation. 

“You’re just so fucking soft and alluring.” He whispers in her ear as he unclasped her bra. “I already know I need to fuck you hard.” Y/N eyes’ roll back as she feels his wet mouth on her nipple as the other one massaged the other. Her hands were trying really hard to focus on the task at hand which was to undo his pants but it was definitely not working with the way he was distracting her. Not a single thought could process in her mind.

“I think since this is a one and done situation, you better make this memorable.” She whispers and bites her lip as she tries to hold back a moan. His fingers were teasing her covered entrance but Harry could feel her drenched spot already clenching at his presence. 

“Memorable? I’ll definitely leave my mark on you.” He sucks on her mouth more roughly than usual as he rubs his fingers on her centre. “You wanted me so bad baby? You just had to beg me huh?” He gestures his hips more forward to help her with his pants. 

“I’m kind of new to this. Be a bit patient.” Y/N laughs as she gently unzips his pants after numerous attempts.  

“You just ruined the moment.” He laughs with her as he kisses her forehead and takes his pants off as well. “Just kidding, this is probably the most fun I had.” He hovers over her again and teases her entrance. 

“What do you mean?” She lays on her back and roams her hands all over his chest. 

“Never got the chance to tease the fuck out of a pretty girl then fuck her hard.” He slaps her clit and bites down on her lip. She suddenly lets out a moan that makes her eyes flutter and her chest rise closer up to his face. 

He brings two of his fingers to her mouth and slowly lets her lick on it before rimming her entrance and shoving it in without any warning. His thumb slowly rubs her swollen numb as he can’t help but rub himself on her sheets as well. “You mind if I get a little bit of a taste? I’ve been dying to know. I saw you earlier at the party and I had to jerk myself off seeing you in those little stockings of yours.” 

“You. You jerked yourself off thinking about me, baby?” She looks down at him and smiles softly. He gives her a little smirk before pulling his hand away and heading his head down a bit south. His tongue dips slowly on the left side of her leg as his hands grip her thighs tightly, sure of the bruises to form soon.

“You’re like a fucking wet dream. How can I say no to you?” He urgently swipes his whole tongue on her centre. “I saw you earlier and had to go to my room.” He takes another lick. “Fuck baby, the best i’ve fucking tasted. Fuck oh fuck.” He precisely observes the way your whole swallows his fingers in and clench so tightly around him. His tongue dipping and switching with his fingers because he honestly can’t decide which is best. 

“Harry, fuck me please baby.” Y/N moans loudly as she harshly grabs on her boobs. She’s never been fucked this good. It was honestly feeling like a dream. With that being said, she’s only had sex a handful of times but Harry seemed like such an expert in the field. “Oh God.” She tries to pull away. She wasn’t sure if she could continue on with Harry obsessively licking and sucking on her wet centre. 

He looks up and watches her eyes roll back as her fingers begin to pull on his head aggressively. His only reflex is to spread her legs wider. After her first orgasm, Y/N lays on her back staring at her ceiling trying to catch her breath. 

“Fuck me.”

“We aren’t done yet, love.” He laughs at her cuteness. He can’t remember the last time where he wasn’t rushing to finish himself off. He was taking his time with Y/N since it’s what she deserves. He lays down beside her and kisses down her chest. “Tell me when you’re ready to go, yeah?” He dips his tongue on her shoulder until it reaches the huge hickey he left on her collarbone. He gently licks around it and sucks on it again. 

He was a bit surprised to see Y/N sit up and grab a condom from her drawer. “Thank you for fucking the shit out of me, I’ll gladly return the favour.” She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear as she focuses on putting the contraceptive on him. Just touching it was already forming butterflies in her stomach. 

“I could’ve been fucking you on that cruise.” he mischievously smiles at her as he watches the way her pretty tits move. 

“You were sharing a room with my brother.” She hisses as she holds onto his shaft trying to gently ease the pain as she fully sits on him. 

“But you were alone.” He grabs onto her waist and helps her. “You’re so beautiful fuck.” He sits up on her headboard as her palms rest on his chest. Both of their eyes couldn’t help but watch the way he was easily penetrating her. 

“Was touching myself because of you.” She mumbles out as her speed begins to increase.

“What did you say baby?” He almost chokes on his breath as he can feel her fully taking him in. 

“Couldn’t stop thinking of you on that cruise. I needed you to rail the fuck out of me.” She moans louder as she starts to feel his hips meet her. 

“Fuck me. So perfect, Shit.” He quickly turns them around and shoves himself back into her. His hand immediately tightens around her neck and once he is about to pull it away, she keeps his hand on her. 

“Fuck me harder.” She cries out as his arm begins to push her legs up. He spits in between their centres before thrusting as hard as he can. All you could hear was her headboard banging against the wall as his hand continuously choked the fuck out of her. 

“I bet you like getting spanked too huh?” He bites his lip and semi turns her body before slapping her ass. 

“Harry fuck.”

“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come around my cock.”

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Y/N cries out as her fingernails scratch his back. “Come in my mouth. I want to taste you so bad please.” tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues to clench around his dick. Harry immediately pulls off the condom and helps her sit up on her knees. She absolutely could not feel a thing below her stomach but with Harry’s hard cock in her mouth, she was already closing her eyes and trusting him with everything she was. She’s never been this fucking vulnerable, she was literally about to pass the fuck out. 

She was softly holding onto his thighs but her hands found comfort on his waist as he began to fuck her mouth harder. Harry on the other hand, kept his eyes on how her mouth was taking him in. He watched the way his fingers wrap around her hair tightly as he brought his hips closer and closer until he could feel her gagging on his dick. Without a warning, he immediately pulls out and spills all over her face.

“Why’d you do that?” She opens her eyes and pouts. She was pretty upset how she couldn’t taste him spill into her mouth. So her finger immediately takes a swipe of his spill and puts it in her mouth. Without hesitation, she’s taking his forming soft dick in her hands before softly licking it clean and softly sucking on his balls. She takes his shaft and swipes her cheek once more before licking the rest of his spill from his shaft. 

“You’re going to make me hard again if you keep doing that baby. Might not be as nice as I was this time.” 

“Maybe I want another round?” She gestures him to lie down as she continues to kiss and suck on his cock. 

“Thought it was a one and done.” He softly smiles as he removes some of the hair from her face.

“How about a one and done night?”

“Deal.”

And although they thought this was crossing a line, they already knew the moment their lips touched, they wouldn’t be able to stop.

~

“Wait so he changed his mind!” Nessa laughs as they drive back home. “Bitch how are you at school today? I literally saw you limping at lunch.”

“Shut up.” Y/N mouth widens as she rubs her face. “I don’t know what happened okay? We said one and done but we honestly went a couple of rounds before I had to wake him up so he could drive back home.”

“But is he out of your system? Don’t get me wrong Harry’s a fine guy but like dating wise? He’s been with other girls but somehow always goes back to Carla. They’ve been like that before you and Ryan moved here.” 

“Yeah, he’s out of my system.” Y/N laughs but truth be told, some nights when she can’t sleep, she’ll find herself staring at the ceiling. 

“Why are you guys home so early?” Nessa asks once they step inside the house. There was a good comparison between Nessa and Ryan with Y/N and Harry. First off, Nessa literally saw Ryan as her older brother which meant they were pretty vocal towards each other. Secondly, Nessa was very comfortable at Y/N’s house almost as if this was her second home. 

“Carla and Cassidy are coming over.” Ryan smirks as Harry cleans the living room behind him. “During the party last night, I may have asked if they wanted to come over for a double date game night thing. Mom and Dad are cool with it since it's a Monday which is their date night too.

“Oh have fun.” Y/N buds in and laughs. “Make sure to actually vacuum please. You don’t want the girls finding your crumbs on the carpet.” She takes her jacket off as Nessa follows behind her up the stairs. Harry obviously tried to ignore the fact, she bluntly ignored him. 

“Double date? Damn, you guys really did just fuck and brushed it under the carpet.”

“It meant nothing right. So?” Y/N tries to brush off the topic as she sets her backpack down. “Why won’t you sit down?” “On that bed?” Nessa smiles awkwardly as she glances at the double bed near the wall. 

“I changed the sheets.” Y/N takes her shirt off and replaces it with another loose top. She unzips her pants and wears her black tights instead.

“So should we invite ourselves to their double date?” Nessa raises her eyebrows as she lays down on the bed. 

“No because it’s weird and I don’t want Harry to think I’m jealous.”

“I think you are.”

“Nope, I told you I don’t like him like that anymore and he’s out of my system.” She tries to ignore the fact, how she swallowed him without hesitation.

“Okay but wouldn’t it be better to prove to yourself you are just by being around him.” And although Y/N wanted to protest that, the two best friends ended up being invited by Ryan to play downstairs anyway. 

“You girls want a refill?” Ryan sits up from the coffee table as he cleans up the empty red cups. Ness, Carla, and Cassidy wanted a new one which made Y/N go help her brother out in the kitchen. 

“Are you having fun?” Ryan asks as he throws the cups in the recycling. Y/N pours the preferred drinks in the new cups as she looks up at her brother. 

“Yeah, I was wondering why you invited Ness and I. Don’t you think we’re cock-blocking?”

“Harry suggested you guys hang out with us while we played games. More competition is fun y’know. Plus you and Nessa can leave whenever.”

“Oh cool. Thanks, I guess?” 

“Yup.” He grabs two cups as she does. She couldn’t help but notice how Ryan suddenly started cheering. “Yeah, Styles get it! Woooo!” Y/N turns her eyes to notice Harry and Carla making out on the floor by the coffee table. 

“Are you guys dating again?” Cassidy laughs as she tries not to watch them make out.

“Sure.” Carla pulls away and pecks his cheek. Nerissa was just watching Y/N’s reaction and she knew it was a bad one. 

“Y/N could you walk me to the car? Appa just texted me and he’s wondering where I am. I forgot it was his birthday.” Nessa speaks up.

“Oh shit.” Y/N was clueless of her excuse. Which thankfully made her seem more genuinely in a rush to get out of the room. She sets the drinks on the table before going upstairs with Ness.

“How did you forget it was Appa’s birthday, Ness?” 

“I don’t know.” She packs her things up. “Why don’t you come with me? He’s gonna blow his cake soon.”

“Oh, I don’t want-”

“Come.” And if there was one thing Y/N knew well about Nessa, it was that she wouldn’t ever forget it was Appa’s birthday, especially if she just celebrated it a couple of months ago. Without a fight to say no, Y/N immediately grabs a hoodie as they walk down the stairs. 

“Ryan, I’m going to Ness’ to celebrate Appa’s birthday. I’ll be home soon before Mom and Dad comes home.”

“Oh okay.” Ryan waves at his sister as his arms rests on Cassidy’s shoulder. 

“Bye guys!” Ness and Y/N wave as they both exit the house immediately. Harry stays unbothered as he takes another sip of his beer. 

“Thank you for getting me the fuck out of there.” 

“It’s okay. We don’t actually have to leave you know. It’s 6 PM, I can drive the car to a different neighbourhood and you can cry all about him there.”

“I love you.” Y/N begins to tear up. 

“I love you too.”

~

“What’s Tom doing here?” Ryan’s eyes are in shock as he watches his sister hold hands with the familiar boy. What’s confusing is that Y/N went to Ness’ for a birthday. 

“He just wanted to come over.” She smiles innocently as she waves hi to the same party. It was just about 7 PM and the double date duo was watching an unfamiliar movie on TV. Nessa called Tom and Y/N had to explain their situation. Although he didn’t really want to do it. He knew Y/N wanted to prove something to the Harry guy. So as long as they didn’t do anything romantic or weird that would cross his boundaries, Tom was okay with it. 

“Aw, I didn’t know you were dating Thomas?” Cassidy smiles as she walks in with a bowl of popcorn. She hands it to Carla who is cuddling up against Harry on one of the sofas.

“We aren’t dating.” They both look at each other and laugh. Tom shakes his head and pulls Y/N up the stairs instead. 

Once the pair is gone, the dates begin to watch their movie again. “Ryan, you really don’t care if your sister is by herself with that boy?” Carla laughs as she feeds herself and Harry popcorn.

“I’m definitely not going to interfere with that, they’re probably doing the nasty already.” His eyes widen as he stuffs more popcorn down his mouth and although, Harry was keeping his eyes on the screen, there wasn’t anything sitting well with him knowing the girl he was with on the weekend was already in somebody else’s arms. 

The goal was to get each other out of their systems, why the fuck are they so jealous then?

great plan Vanessa. 

Part deux ici 

[myhockeyworld87]

What Happens in Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 1

Word Count: 4,885

POV: Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Language, Smut, Drinking (all the good stuff)

Notes: Well here it is the new fic that’s been in my head. I tossed around a couple different guys for this, but some of you suggested Marky and well looks like it stuck. Trying to do this a little different and keep this in an all read POV, so we shall see how that works. I don’t see this being super long maybe between 5 or 6 parts. Hope you guys enjoy. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!

They say that New York is the city that never sleeps but whoever 'they' is, well, they got it wrong. It has to be Vegas. Lights are always flashing whether you were indoors or out, the jangly sound of slot machines can be heard at all hours and the seven deadly sins seem to be on full display twenty-four hours a day. It's no wonder their tagline for years was 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' If only that were true.

You wish you could blame someone else but you can't. Vegas was all your idea. As maid of honor, it fell to you to plan your best friend's bachelorette party, and in your mind, there was only one spot, Vegas. Now, you were second-guessing your choice as your head was pounding like there were a thousand drummers who decided to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show, only in your brain. There was only one thought that made it through the marching band playing in your head. What the hell happened last night?

 Maybe you should start off small, like where were you first, considering that the little drummer boy was now doing backflips in your head. You were definitely in bed, which was evident as you could feel the mattress underneath you. You could also feel the duvet comforter covering your body, but there was something else. Something a bit heavier, almost as if a weighted blanket was covering your stomach and your breast, but it wasn't that. It was an arm slung across your midsection and a very large hand cupping your one boob. God, you hoped it was still attached to a body. You should really take a peek. It would be the only decent thing to do.

 As you gradually lifted one eyelid open, the first thing you noticed was that you were not in your hotel room, as the wall looked completely different. No reason to panic, you told yourself. Everything would come back to you as soon as this god blessed pounding ceased. Peering the other eye open, you got back to business at seeing if there was a body attached to the arm currently trapping you to the bed. Carefully, you turned your head to the side to see a very large and very naked man firmly attached to the aforementioned arm. He was gorgeous as he lay there sleeping ever so peacefully. You drank in his features, kind of like you downed drink after drink last night. His brown hair had this golden hue to it that made your fingers want to reach out and touch it, though you refrained. Then there was the beard covering his face, not too much and not too little, and now that you were thinking about it; you definitely felt some of that beard burn on your thighs. If you could only remember last night. The only logical thing to do was to go back to the start of this, back to a time when you were sober.

 It started months ago when your best friend Kennedy got engaged. You honestly didn't see it coming that fast. She'd only been dating Ryan for a little less than a year, but he asked and she said yes, and when she asked you to be her maid of honor you screamed and laughed and cried, and told her you couldn't wait to plan her bachelorette party. Everyone knew the bridal shower was only for boring stuffy old aunts so that they could buy her the latest air fryer or new dish pattern. The bachelorette party was where all the fun was, and what better place to have it than Las Vegas.

 Of course, everyone agreed with you. The only wrench in the plan was that Kennedy decided to up her wedding date and make it a nine-month engagement. That barely left time to find a dress let alone plan the most outrageous bachelorette party of the century. You would've said decade but twenty-twenty was fastly approaching. Thankfully, you had connections. Night one was more sedate since you all were just arriving at the MGM hotel at different times; eleven of you in total when Ryan's sister decided to join at the last minute. You booked a private room at Lago in the Bellagio for all of you to enjoy.

 It was the second night, that was the piece de resistance. A limo picked you all up and took you over to Excalibur to see the legendary Australian group, Thunder from Down Under. I mean what was Vegas without seeing a male stripper or two. The next day, a private bungalow was waiting for you at Wet Republic in the MGM Hotel. One would've thought the night watching men strip naked would've been your undoing but apparently, it all started poolside.

 "I seriously can't believe he pulled you up on stage and proceeded to dry hump you up there," Kelsey rehashed.

 "Really, Kels?" Kennedy said downing another mimosa. "How could you not see that happening? (Y/N) has known Nate for a couple years. I mean he did get us front row tickets." This was all true. Nate, the emcee for Thunder from Down Under and you were friends, had been since your firm had done their calendar shoot two years ago. He had generously given you prime seating to the show that night and also set you up with a few other perks for the trip. "The only thing I'm surprised at, is that this one," she bumped you with her hip, spilling both hers and your mimosas. "Didn't end up going home with him last night."

 "Oh my god, Kenny you did not just say that." She may be the bride and your best friend but really, she was pushing the line.

 "Come on, it's not like it hasn't happened before."

 At least four pairs of eyes turned towards you, Ryan's sister Gretchen being one of them. "Ok, admittedly, I slept with him, once." Both Kennedy and Kelsey gave you that look. "Ok, maybe it was twice, but he has a girlfriend now, and we are just friends."

 "I'll give you that," Jade spoke up in your defense and suddenly she was going to earn the title of new best friend, not that the lines weren't blurred in your little group as you were all sort of best friends. "But what about Edward, the one with the turtle tattoo on his hip."

 "You were so looking at more than his hip." Eva teased while Jade simply hid behind her champagne glass. "But yeah (Y/N), he was totally hitting on you."

 "He was not."

 "Oh, he was," Kennedy added her two cents. "And as the bride I take offense, they should've been hitting on me."

 "Wait, why would they hit on you?" Jade sputtered. "You're taken bitch." Of course, bitch was said in the most loving way.

 "I'm not dead."

 "No, but I'm sure my brother wouldn't appreciate it." Leave it to Gretchen to be the mood killer. "I think I'm going to go take a nap. I'll meet you at the pool later."

 She headed out the door, and honestly, you were ecstatic about it, for she was too judgmental for your liking.  "Wait, Gretch, that's not what I meant."

 "Leave her go, maybe a nap would do her good." They were Jade's words but your sentiments. "Now back to why (Y/N) did not take that beautiful man up on his offer last night."

 "There was no offer," you insisted.

 "Come on (Y/N), there was an offer. There's always an offer. Remember when you were doing promo for that Batman flick." You tried to shut Kennedy up with a death glare, but she continued to prattle on. "We all know you ended up doing the nasty with Superman."

 "WHAT?!?!" Yeah, that definitely came out of the other nine people's mouths in the room.

 "Thanks, Ken. No one knew that but you."

 "Oops, my bad." She had the grace to at least be embarrassed about the whole thing.

 "You mean you slept with that guy, the British one, tall, all muscular, extremely good looking. Damn it what's his name." You could see Eva wracking her brain for his name and you just didn't want to go there.

 "Hen…"

 "Yes, him," you admitted, stopping Jade before she could finish his name. "Can we please change the subject?"

 "Why, when we are all living vicariously through you," Kelsey added. "Especially poor Kennedy, who is now committed to spending the rest of her life with one man."

 "Geez, you make it sound like a death sentence. I love Ryan and I'm perfectly fine spending the rest of my days with him."

 You had to suppress an eye roll. Not because you didn't think that Ryan and Kennedy weren't in love. If you were being honest, you just thought they were rushing things a bit. The problem was telling your best friend that; you tried in the past and never succeeded. "We know you're in love Kenny." And then because you couldn't stop yourself, you added. "It's just are you sure you want to be tied down so young? We still have our whole life to live."

 "Jesus, (Y/N). We all know you're not ready for marriage and what comes with it, but we can't all be you with your fancy job in LA, meeting celebrities all the time. Some of us have real lives and want to settle down and have a family."

 "Kenny, that's not what I meant." The last thing you wanted to do was argue with her at her bachelorette party. "I only want you to be happy."

 "You have a funny way of showing it." The air in the room took on a chill and not from the air conditioning. If you didn't do something soon this party was going to go downhill.

 "Oh, would you look at the time," Jade chimed in. "We should probably be heading down to the pool." Everyone grabbed their stuff, Kennedy giving you the cold shoulder as you made your way out of the hotel suite. Jade came up and wrapped an arm around you. "She'll be fine. She's just on edge after the whole Gretchen thing. We'll give her a few shots and you two will be good as new."

 "I hope so." Unfortunately, things weren't fine. Kennedy seemed to avoid you and your attempt to make things right, even after a few shots. That didn't stop you from taking a few more. You had a strict one drink to one water rule, that you threw out the door today. Downing shots like it was your job. It was probably an hour later when you were in one of the private pools, with a few of the girls that a large group of very attractive men walked in. They were definitely different from Nate and the guys from Thunder, and at first, you thought it was some fraternity get together with how young some of them looked, but at second glance there were some gentlemen that were your age or older.

 "They've gotta be baseball players," Eva whispered over after they took up residence in the three bungalows next to you.

 "Nah, none of them have a dad bod." Jade was right, they were too fit to be in the MLB. You'd been around enough major leaguers to know while some were incredibly in shape, some were not. That didn't seem to be the case with this group.

 "I'm gonna rule out NFL as well," you told the girls. "None of these guys look like they're an offensive guard. Those guys are huge." You noticed a few of them staring at the six of you that were in the smaller pool reserved only for the bungalows. Grabbing another shot, this had to be your fourth in just sixty minutes, you downed the drink really starting to feel its effects.

 "Looks like we may just find out here," Jade said, nodding to let you know some of the guys were headed your way.

 "Ladies, care if we join you?" One of the men asked, you had to admit he was extremely handsome but also gave off an air that he had more than a few notches in his bedpost.

 A couple of the girls nodded, but when no one said anything, you found yourself saying, "Come on in."

 "So, what brings you to Vegas?" This from a different guy, who had quite a number of tattoos covering his arms, and you had to admit that the ink just made him more attractive, that and his height. He was well over six feet tall and you didn't mind looking up to see his face as he took the seat next to you.

 "Bachelorette party," Jade blurted out and you saw a few eyebrows raise.

 "Tell me you're not the bride?" His breath was warm or maybe it was the sun, either way, you definitely felt a warmth in your belly that wasn't there moments ago.

 "I am definitely not the bride." Shit that sounded desperate. "Though I am the maid of honor, at least I hope I still am." You looked inside the bungalow to see Kennedy in deep conversation with Gretchen.

 "Hmm, sounds like there's a story there. Care to tell me? I'm Jacob by the way, though the guys call me Marky."

 He held out his hand, the one that didn't have a beer in it, and you took it. "(Y/N), and I'll tell you though it's rather dull, on one condition." He quirked a brow at you. "You tell me what sport you play."

 He chuckled. "What makes you think I play a sport? Maybe I'm an investment banker."

 "Well, first there's your accent, though I suppose you could pull off investment banker with that. Second, you are all…how shall I say this…physically fit. A quality most athletes have and considering the number of you; I doubt this is some kind of investment banker convention."

 "Ok, I'll give you that, though we could be bodybuilders or…" the lights on the billboard on the strip changed to a Thunder From Down Under ad and you saw a light bulb in his head go off. "Or male strippers." Shit, you almost spit your drink out on that one. "What, too much a stretch? Maybe it's your lucky day." He started to sway his hips in the pool, one of his friends joining him while you and Jade tried to contain your laughter.

 "Nah, it's already been (Y/N)'s lucky day with them. She knows them all rather intimately."

 "Jade!" you yelled at your friend, or ex-friend, though you weren't in a position to be losing anymore at the moment.

 "Oops." She at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Alcohol made everyone do some crazy things and Jade was no exception to the rule.

 "Intimately huh?" Jacob asked as you splashed water on Jade causing her to shriek and hide behind Jacob's friend who you learned was someone named Erik. "Have I lost the competition before it even starts?"

 "There's no competition."

 "So, you're single then?"

 "Yes, though you still haven't answered my question." As soon as Jacob heard you say yes, he slid a little closer to you.

 "What was that question again?" He said with laughter in his eyes and before you could get annoyed with him, though you doubted that would happen, he added. "I remember, just giving you a hard time. Anyhow, we play hockey."

 "Oh, nice. Like professional level? Or are there minors in that sport?" You really weren't one hundred percent sure. You'd taken in a game here and there but not really paid any particular attention to it.

 "We're in the NHL, playing for Vancouver. Just came out to do a little team bonding before the season starts. So, are we going to talk about this intimate encounter or why you think your maid of honor duties are getting revoked?"

 "I think I need another drink to talk about either of them."

 Jacob flagged down one of the personal waitresses for the area, requesting a couple of shots and drinks for you both, and you had to admit you liked the way he worked. "Now that that's taken care of…"

 You blew out a frustrated breath, more with yourself than anything else. "I said something stupid right before we came down here." He kept silent, his eyes totally focused on you and what you were saying. A refreshing change from some of the men you spoke to. "I just think she's rushing into things. They've only known each other a year and we are too young to get married. She's only twenty-five, we have our whole lives ahead of us. You know?" He simply nodded his agreement before you continued. "I want to see the world, go places, and do things before I'm strapped down to one man forever. Not to mention being tied down with kids. How can Kenny not want that too?"

 "I totally agree. I've gotten to see a lot with hockey but there's no way I want to be tied down just yet."

 "Exactly, you totally get me." Your drinks arrived then and Jacob took one shot and handed it to you before taking the other.

 "Well, I say we toast to being young and free with no commitments."

 "I'll drink to that." He clinked his glass to yours and the two of you downed the drinks. It seemed like the DJ noticed the change in your mood, as the music got louder and the energy seemed to kick up a notch. You got up and started to dance in the pool; the other girls joining in. It wasn't long before you felt Jacob behind you. His hips grinding into your backside, as his large hands encircled your waist.

 Drinks flowed freely the entire day, and if you were being honest, you couldn't remember a time you'd been that drunk before the sun had even set. You were laughing and dancing, and quite literally having the time of your life; your maid of honor duties completely forgotten at this point. Gretchen came up to you at some point and told you that she, Kennedy, and Kelsey were heading up and would catch up with the rest of you later. Everyone else was having too much fun with the Canucks to want to leave.

 A few more drinks and an hour later, the party was winding down. Most of your friends had headed up to their room to pass out, only a few stayed behind. Jacob had somehow maneuvered you into one of the bungalows that was empty. You shared a few kisses here and there out in the pool area, but now that you were out of view of prying eyes things were getting a bit more heated. Jacob's hands were on your ass, as his tongue was down your throat; not that yours wasn't doing the same thing to him. He moaned into your mouth, the sound going straight to your core. Your bikini bottom was no longer wet from the water of the pool, but the press of Jacob's cock against it.

 You both stumbled back, landing down on the large daybed in the bungalow, though somehow Jacob's reflexes softened your fall. His hands went straight to your breasts, kneading the flesh there. He was just about to untie the string of your bikini top when someone walked in. "Jesus, Marky! Take it upstairs would you!" You squinted trying to make out who it was but at this point not remembering anyone's name besides the man that was on top of you.

 "Oh, shit…thought I was in my room." It was funny, you thought the same thing. "Sorry, Jay."

 "His name is Jay? Like the letter?" you mumbled as Jacob helped you off the couch. "What comes after J?" Fuck you were drunk and when you were drunk you tended to ramble. You once actually talked to a damn parking meter because you thought it was a person, and you were pretty sure you could talk to one now if there was one around.

 "Doesn't matter, babe," Jacob said kissing your lips. "Wanna head up to my room?"

 You had to go up on your tiptoes to loop your arms around his neck. "Yes, I do." He planted a kiss on your lips then cupped your ass cheeks causing you to jump a bit.

 "Let's go," he finally said breaking the kiss. You had enough sense to grab your things and tell your friends not to worry that you'd catch up with them tomorrow. They all winked and nodded or at least that's what it looked like in your head because that's when things started to get hazy. You had vague recollections of making your way through the casino, stopping here and there. Part of you thought that the two of you even stopped to play roulette only so you could have another drink.

 You did remember tumbling through the door of Jacob's suite. His lips were on yours and neither of you were paying attention as he unlocked it. Thankfully his quick reflexes caught you; apparently, even when drunk, goalies couldn't lose some of those natural instincts.

 His hands, you remember them being everywhere on your body, and how incredible they made you feel. His calloused touch lit a fire inside you, that had nothing to do with the alcohol. He rid you of your white swim cover-up easily, flinging the garment across the room, and then his lips were all over your body. It was easy to recall the way he made you feel, as he softly bit down on your nipple through the fabric of your bikini. You'd craved this all afternoon. It had been a couple months since you'd been with a man and Jacob was everything you'd been waiting for.

 You ripped off his shirt. Your hands immediately going to his chest and roaming down his tattooed arms. He was all muscle, hard and lean everywhere, but when you slid your hand down inside his swim trunks to his cock; oh, it was hard all right, but lean was not a word you'd used to describe it. You were barely able to wrap your fingers around his girth, and as you stroked him, you realized God had not only blessed him with height but length as well. The man was made to star in a porno, you thought as you shoved his trunks down.

 Somehow, during that time Jacob had managed to get your bikini top off, though you supposed with its simple string ties it wasn't a hard feat to manage. You dropped to your knees, licking your lips before taking your tongue and swirling it around the head of Jacob's cock. "Det kanns sa bra min vackra prinsessa (that feels so good my beautiful princess)." Jacob's mumblings had you pulling back and looking up at him. "Don't stop, baby." This time you knew what he said as you slowly sucked him into your mouth. There was no way that you could take him all in, so you pumped the rest of him with your fist. You hollowed out your cheeks as you sucked him inside, using every trick in the book you knew. Jacob muttered more in Swedish to you, things you had no clue as to what they meant, but judging by his reaction they were things he was enjoying very much. He threaded his hands through your hair, pulling it back so you could look up at him with big doe eyes. "Jesus," he swore, his hips bucking into your mouth at the sight of you with his cock in it, looking like that. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out shouting," Tillrackligt, enough. I think you're trying to kill me, princess."

 There was something about the way he called you princess. It wasn't anything you'd been called before and most times you'd preferred babe or baby, but the way the word rolled off his tongue did things to your insides.

 Jacob helped you off the ground, his lips ghosting over yours before picking you up and tossing you onto the bed. His large form handled you easily, arranging your body just the way he wanted to before slipping off your bikini bottoms. His large hands worked their way from your ankles to your calves, all the way up to your thighs; spreading your legs as he went. "So beautiful." He traced his fingers lightly over your pussy lips and you quivered in anticipation of what was to come. One long finger slid between your folds all the way up to your clit, once, then twice, and then once again. "So wet, prinsessa, and all because of me."

 "Mmm, yes, Jacob." He dipped that same finger inside you then. The digit slipping in easily and so he added another. Then his mouth was there. Tongue flicking over your clit in a way that made you squirm with pleasure. "Oh yes," you moaned, caught up in the pleasure that was coursing through your veins. "Just like that." Your hips lifted up on their own accord, seeking more of what this giant of a man was doing to you. Jacob never let up, making a come-hither motion with his fingers and you found yourself unraveling around him; legs shaking, breath panting as your orgasm overtook you.

 “So pretty when you cum, prinsessa.” He pulled his fingers from your pussy then brought them to your lips. You opened without any thought, licking your juices off of them. Before you could get them clean, Jacob’s mouth joined yours, kissing you while you sucked on his index and middle fingers. Your tongues mingled together, as Jacob positioned himself between your thighs. The head of his cock nudged between your folds and you sighed into his mouth at just that first touch. Slowly, he filled your pussy, until he bottomed out. Only then did he release your lips. “Fuck you feel so good.”

 Jacob loved the feel of you clenching around him. It felt like he was in heaven. Part of him didn’t even want to move that’s how good your body felt, but then you shifted your hips up just a hair bit and he had to suck in a breath at the pleasure that went straight to his groin for fear he would spend inside you right then and there. He willed his body under control and only then started to move.

 With every snap of Jacob’s hips, a wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your nails raked down his back, probably leaving marks, but it seemed to only spur him on. “Yes, Prinsessa,” he moaned out, as you bent your knees allowing him to go deeper. You moaned as he hit that treasured spot that had you seeing stars. “You like that?” Another moan was his answer, as he continued to fuck you.

 That peculiar feeling started to wash over you. Your pussy fluttering around Jacob’s cock as the orgasm finally broke. Back arching, legs trembling, you were moaning out his name as the climax seemed to continue, as Jacob drove wildly into you. As you came down off your high, Jacob found his. With a few erratic thrusts, he was spending deep inside you with a loud groan. He slumped forward, his sweety forehead resting on yours. “Det dar var otroligt.” You looked at him curiously, your brain not working at all but also knowing he was speaking something in Swedish to you. He smiled, a glorious one that you found yourself getting lost in and you found yourself returning it. “I said that was amazing.”

 “Yes, it was,” you breathed out. Jacob rolled you both onto your sides, tucking you into his. It wasn’t long before both of you were passing out.

 Now here you were, finally putting most of the pieces together from last night. You looked back over at the sleeping man, who had given you such pleasure even in your inebriated state. He really was gorgeous. You honestly wouldn’t mind going for round two, after a couple of Tylenol, of course. Speaking of which you needed to get up and see if you had any in your bag. If only you could move him without waking him. You carefully took your right arm and went to move his left which was slung across you, but then something caught your eye. There on his ring finger was a ring. Oh, it wasn’t just any ring, it was a wedding ring! You knew he didn’t have it on when you were in the pool. You were not the type of woman to go hitting on a married man, let alone sleep with him.

 You pulled your other arm out from underneath him, fully intending to grab your stuff and get the hell out of there when you noticed a bright and shiny diamond on your ring finger. There was also a matching wedding band. Then like a tsunami hitting the beach of a small island a memory came flooding back to you of the two of you entering the hotel chapel. This man wasn’t married to just anyone, he was married to you!  

.

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 7--Promises Broken

Placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol.  You’re welcome.  

The episode opens with Maggie, Elijah, Father Gabe, and Negan.  

Right away I can’t help feeling disappointed because the emotional core of last episode (Kelly and Connie’s reunion and the aftermath) seems like it’s being ignored and punted further down the road so we can waste another hour getting piece meal progress on the Reaper front, but I’m going to try to push my misgivings away and enjoy this episode for what it is, so.  

“Daryl just told us to go home.”  

And save your hides and keep the rest of the community safe?  I can’t argue that Negan might have an actual point here, lol.  But Maggie sure can.  

Not gonna lie.  When Negan came back with “I think he was being subtle. He said they were armed with lookouts” I had to LOL.  

“We will never be even.”  I mean.  Maggie been frustrating me with her stubbornness in this suicide mission, true.  But she right.  They will never, ever be even.  

“Ya’ll know Blackbeard, too?”  I admit it.  I laughed.  A little.  

Okay.  I don’t know if this bodes well for this episode or not, but the cold opening in this episode?  Was the most underwhelming cold open of this season.  

At least the opening credits still give me that old familiar rush of the heyday of TWD.  

Fake Stephanie and Eugene are on Walker clean up duty.  Hmm.  I think I’m going to refer to Fake Stephanie as Fifi until she gets a real name for brevity’s sake.  

Fifi handles herself surprisingly well with the Walkers.  Is she one of Mercer’s stormtroopers working undercover maybe?  

Somehow I doubt it’s true that our friends can trust “Lance” but whatever, lol.  

I hate to admit it but I’m already kind of bored with this episode.  We’re barely over 6 minutes in.  

I didn’t recognize Princess without her fluffy pink coat!  

Zeke is definitely struggling.  

I do like that these two  have been paired up.  They have taken to each other quickly and already have a good rapport.  There’s something endearing about their scenes together.  

“Never been afraid of hard work.  Kinda anti-friends who die from stubbornness.”  Have I mentioned lately how much I love Princess?  Because I really, really do.  

So it’s been days.  Has it been days that Maggie and Negan and Co. have been outrunning the Reapers?  I’m talking since they left the safe house.  Does that mean that it’s also been days since Kelly and Connie’s reunion?  This timeline is so slow and yet they keep telling us it’s been days and making me think we’ve been missing time.  Like I can’t even.  

You know Carol’s “Pookie is in danger” senses have to be big-time tingling by now if it’s been DAYS.  

Also?  Alden almost certainly has to be dead.  

But I digress.  They obviously don’t want us getting hung up on the apparent time warp between ASZ, Meridian, and the Commonwealth.  It’s like the Bermuda Triangle of the ZA.  

“A person with your pedigree...”  

Okay then.  Commonwealth is full of uppity assholes.  Good to know.  

Yumiko looks classy!  I say that in my best Princess voice, lol.  

Well.  At least they’ve given Daryl Dog back.  Has Dog come to his senses though?  That is the question.  

Daryl sharing a smoke with the enemy to gain some intel.  Or maybe just the keys to food storage.  

So.  Another redshirt (Elijah’s sister’s friend) we don’t know bites the dust.  Meh.  Including that tidbit in the trailer was purposefully misleading, lol.  Not that I want people to die, but still.  

“But the one?  He’s mine.”  Let’s take bets.  Was it Carver Elijah has a beef with because it just seems like it was.  Could also be that his name is the only one I know, lol.  

Where is Maggie sending our hobbled Father G?  

“I kept my mask for practical and sentimental reasons.”  Negan?  You almost had me.  He really can’t help his inherent asshole-ishness can he?  

But seriously.  Yuck at what they about to do because I assume Alpha and Co. at least cured the nasty skins.  

I wish I could say I give a damn that they’re attempting to give Leah some more likeable layers but it’s a cheap cheat so naw.  

There’s that damn river that symbolizes the great divide between Daryl and his love and his family.  At least it’s pretty.  

I’m with Daryl.  Is Pope just looking to cleanse the earth of those he doesn’t feel belong or what?  Wheedle the truth out of her, Daryl.  

“You never needed anyone to make you strong.”  

Think our guy has ever said this to his real girl?  

It’s kinda funny that the Whisperer flunkie is now the herding Whisperer tutor.  

Is that the Reaper’s version of a priest?  Sorry.  I swear.  I’ve been trying to pay attention during their scenes.  But my mind wanders because it feels like Woodbury and the Sanctuary all over again.  The Whisperers at least were elevated by Samantha Morton, Ryan Hurst, Thora Birch, and yes, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  Like I love Norman Reedus and the character he’s crafted in Daryl but he’s not enough to have me enthralled with Leah and these dudes.  I don’t care if they were all Calendar pinups before the ZA.  

Truly.  A+ casting with Yumiko’s brother.  

Yeah.  Something’s definitely fishy about Tomi’s reluctance to go back to his old life in the Commonwealth, but the desire for a slower, less stressful existence is definitely relatable so I’m not going to hold that part against him at all.  

What did Maggie say after Elijah asked if Negan had changed?  Because I replayed it a handful of times and still don’t know.  

This Lancy Hornsby dude reeks of slimy politician.  

Too much one on one Daryl and Leah in this episode.  Without any kind of chemistry at least these two drag each other and their parts of the episode down.  Leah’s character is a fail for me and it has nothing to do with shipping reasons.  She’s just not believable or authentic to her role as a mercenary.  

“If I could do it all over again, I’d have killed every single one of you.”  Damn.  Well.  He’s being true to himself, I guess.  Unapologetically Negan.  

Again.  I can’t say Negan’s wrong exactly but shit does he deliver some uncomfortable truths.  

Princess’s childlike delight over treats is <3.  

Look at Eugene running toward danger!  OG Eugene would never.  Abe would be so proud.  

Eugene and Fifi actually work pretty good together but it all feels so staged.  I feel sorry for our guy.  

“This guy was being, well, an asshole.”  LMAO @ Josh’s delivery. The asshole definitely deserved that punch and his date deserved to be eaten.  

Real Stephanie is so pretty.  

Aww.  She’s concerned about Eugene.  

Oh shit.  Eugene punched Pamela Milton’s little entitled prick of a son.  This feels like the ASZ Monroes all over again.  Sorry.  I can’t remember their names.  

Poor Eugene.  Have I said that already?  

Is this Lance Hornsby guy the lesser of two evils or...”  

All the chances you’ve gotten, hmm?  Seems to me they’ve been set up for some failure too, though.  

Maggie and Negan leading a herd where?  Meridian?  

That poor woman.  Just wanting her family safe and spared of seeing her meet her maker.  

f

So Leah’s not completely cold.  Okay.  Doesn’t mean she’s able to be saved though.  

At this point, Kang is just  yanking Daryl’s chain and ours in the process.  

Even hidden behind that skin mask, Elijah made me tear up when he saw his sister.  

No previews?  What a copout.  

Not Kang correlating Maggie and Negan to child and coach, lol.  

The narrative they keep pushing about the villains having families and FEELINGS doesn’t change much for me, Angela.  Gracie was the only innocent in that outpost Team Family attacked.  I’m not saying they should have done it but stop trying to make the bad guys sympathetic.  It isn’t earned.  

Interesting how she mentions Gabe is trying so very hard to hold onto faith.  

If Leah’s the frog boiling in that pot?  They better be serving frog legs to the starving community she’s hunting.  Just saying.  

Overall impression of this episode?  

It was boring.  No seriously.  

I wish I could say I liked it better but it was just meh.  I can’t even muster up any words because I just feel blah about it and that’s not a good feeling to have going into the first final (mid?  half?  tri?  I don’t know what to call it) episode of the season.  

Withholding the previews further adds to the doldrums because what is there to actually be excited about here after that episode?  At least try to pique our interest, Angela.  

[alwaysgurl43]

Her Missing Partner

 Word Count: 1564

Warnings: None that I can think of

Author’s Note: This is a #Beckettines21 gift for  @caskettinlove​. I tried to incorporate some of the things you love into it and this fits in to the timeline right before 4x22 (Originally it was going to split into the episode but my muse did not work that way. I did rewatch the episode just for you though:D) Enjoy!

Coffee had always been their special thing. Even when nothing in the day went right or their case was nothing but dead ends- they always had coffee. Usually Castle was the one bringing it to her, but sometimes she returned the favor. But something about this case- the case of her missing partner- adding with the lack of caffeine that was making it where she couldn’t figure out the missing piece. She couldn’t come to terms with the missing piece. Or maybe she just didn’t want to come to terms with it.

Castle is the missing piece. Even when they don’t have active cases, he’s usually here trying to throw out anything to drive her crazy. But he hasn’t been here in almost twenty four hours. Kate’s eyebrows pull together as she stares at the murder board, filled with the information from the case they closed yesterday. Castle should be here. He always has a place to fit here like a missing puzzle piece fits into a puzzle, but it almost feels like he doesn’t want his place any longer. There’s something that is pushing him farther away, and the only thing that would make sense can’t possibly be true. The only thing she could think is pushing him away would be if he found out that she remembers, that she lied. But how could he?

“No Castle?” Espo’s voice cuts into her thoughts. While she might be missing hers, his partner is by his side. 

“Uh, I haven’t heard from him today. But where are you at with finishing up the write up?”

“Maybe don’t make him make the first step.” Ryan throws out, ignoring her question.

“What do you mean?” 

“Phones work both directions.” Espo tacks on before the two head off towards their own projects.

She knows the boys are right. She should reach out to Castle. Finding out what’s going through his mind, why he’s running from her, how to fix everything. Maybe, coffee can help with this too.

Standing outside his door, cups in hand, she realizes the thing she didn’t think about. How is she going to knock on the door with two cups of coffee? Moving from foot to foot, she finally stacks the cups on top of each other so she has a hand to knock. On the other side, she can heard noises, so someone is definitely home, she’s just not sure who will answer the door.

“Ka-Beckett? What are you doing here?”

“Thought my partner could use a caffeine boost. I figured you had to be writing.” She holds the cup out to him and could almost laugh at their accidentally twinning. The navy of his button down matches hers. Her jeans could literally be cut from the same cloth as his, apart from how skinny hers are. “Great minds.” She mentions, motioning towards their clothing.

“Yeah, something like that. Did I forget I had to be somewhere? I usually only get home visits if I did.”

“No. I mean not technically. We haven’t seen you in…” Kate trails off, not wanting to admit her tracking of how long it’s been since she saw him. “I thought I should check in on you.”

“I’m fine. Just busy. I have a life outside the 12th remember?” The words are harsh and unforgiving as they leave his lips. His eyes have gone icy instead of the ocean warmth she normally feels.

“What did I do, Castle?” She wants to fix this. She wants to make everything better so that she can have him back, her partner, her… her Castle.

“Why does everything have to be about you, Kate?” He counters harshly. 

“If it wasn’t about me, why are you so angry with me?” Kate can’t stop the hand that comes to rest on her hip. “If you need to yell, yell at me. But please don’t shut me out Castle.”

“Isn’t that how you prefer things to be done though? It wasn’t me that hid away for months. I leave you be for not even two days and suddenly you’re knocking down my door, making demands?”

“Because this isn’t you. You’re the dependable one. You’re the one I know that I can turn to when I need someone to bounce ideas off of or find a crazy theory that just might fit a case. You’re not the one who goes running. That’s me. I run, but I’m trying to get better. Trying to make it where we no longer don’t talk about the things that matter.”

“You’re actually wanting to talk about things now? Did you ever think it might be too late for that?” 

“I’m hoping it’s not. Because someone taught me that hope is a powerful thing. And I have a lot of it now. So whatever I did, talk to me Castle, because I can’t figure it out.”

Finally, Castle can’t keep it in anymore. “It’s what you didn’t do.” The words slip out on one breath. “Why couldn’t you just tell me? You lied to me for months instead of just telling me and letting me off easily.”

“Let you off easily? Castle, what are you talking about?” He knows she lied. But how he figured it out and when, she has no idea.

“Just because I feel a certain way didn’t mean that you had to. That wasn’t why I told you. I told you how I felt because I couldn’t live without you knowing. Especially when…” He trails off before starting a new thought. “But no one said you had to feel the same way. I get it- I’m frustrating and childish and there are times when I don’t know where the line is drawn. But even with all of that, I don’t think I deserved being lied to. You could have just told me Kate. I could have dealt with you not feeling the same way. But lying to me, for months? What kind of a partner- no what kind of a person does that?”

Kate can only focus on one part of what he said. “You think I lied to you because I don’t feel the same way?”

Castle seems to ignore this question. “You shut me out. It’s so common at this point it didn’t even surprise me. When things are hard, you run from it. But, if you had just told me, I would have gotten out of your hair.” Castle tacks on, running a hand through his own.

“That’s the last thing I ever wanted Castle.”

“What do you want then? Because I’ve tried looking at this from every angle and there’s none that make any sense. If you don’t feel the same, why keep me around?”

“No one said I don’t feel the same Castle.” Kate pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. “Well, no one but you.” A rarity happens with that statement, the writer lost for words. 

“I-you-what?”

“No one said I don’t feel the same way except for you.” Kate repeats the sentiment. Maybe it will click with him that she does feel the same, she just didn’t know how to bring it up after all this time had passed. 

“If that were the case, why did you lie?” Castle doesn’t seem to be letting this get his hopes up. He’s been dealing with this for the past few weeks. He’d already accepted that Kate would never be with him. So why now? Why say this?

“The same reason I built a wall. If I let people get close it risks them getting hurt and I couldn’t risk that, not with you Rick. I learned over time that if I was strong on my own, that others wouldn’t-couldn’t worm their way in to break me. It was easier.”

“It sounds lonelier.”

“Maybe. But I lost someone I loved when I was young. I didn’t want to risk that kind of hurt again. You said it yourself. I hide in relationships with men I don’t love. It’s easier than risking everything and losing it all.”

“So hiding, running, all of that is to stop your heart from getting hurt?” Castle prompts. Kate nods slowly, before taking a long sip of the latte that will always remind her of Castle.

“That’s what Dr. Burke says I’ve been doing too. What he’s been trying to get me to not do anymore I guess.”

“Dr. Burke?”

“My therapist. He’s been helping me for a while.”

“I didn’t know you were in therapy.”

“I didn’t want to make excuses anymore. I wanted to be able to face everything that happened that day and no longer run from it.”

“And are you there?”

“Almost. And that wall I was telling you about, I think it’s almost all the way down. I’d like my partner to be there when it comes down.”

“I’d like to be there too.” Castle admits.

“So will you come back? To the 12th? The boys miss you.”

“I think I can. If the boys are missing me after all. Can’t let them down.”

“Can’t let the boys down.” Kate repeats his sentence.

“Or my partner.” Rick says reaching for Kate’s hand. They don’t usually have big touchy feely moments, but in the small moments of being able to hold her hand or hold her close, he’ll take all of it. Kate smiles up at him as she gently squeezes his hand back.

[riversofmars]

The final chapter! It's been a wild ride! As sad as I am that this story is coming to a close, it also always feels like a great relief when a long, complicated adventure gets wrapped up before spinning out of control lol. I hope the ending will be as satisfying for you as it was for me to write it.

Chapter 15: When the Ends Justify the Means

Gallifrey, during the Time War

The Dreadshade’s explosion was disorienting and gave the Twelve the opportunity to flee the Panopticon. Gravely injured, she staggered down the corridor without a destination in mind, her only goal was to put as much distance as possible between the Doctor and herself. She wanted to die in her own time. She had miscalculated and she was about to pay the price, her body was already fizzing with regenerative energy. She had one more regeneration left - twelve to thirteen - but was it worth it? All her personalities seemed to have an opinion. All things considered, the Twelve had been good at keeping them in check but as her physical strength was waning, so was her mental resolve.

“You have been a disappointment,“ the Eleven was of course the first to comment on their demise.

“You didn’t last two minutes,“ the Four added, equally as condescendingly.

“What an embarrassing miscalculation with the Dreadshade,“ the Seven huffed, as if that could never have happened to him.

“Never could keep your mouth shut, could you,“ the One scolded.

“Shut up, all of you,“ the Twelve snapped, wincing in pain as every cell in her body started to burn up. “Maybe this is it, maybe we should just put ourselves out of our misery…“ It was certainly worth considering. She was tired of the eternal struggle and she didn’t want to become just another voice, trapped in the back of the mind of a mad man.

“One last try,“ the Nine insisted and the Six added:

“Make them all pay.“

“But how?“ The Twelve stumbled. She collapsed against a pillar. She had made it to the Matrix chamber. Surely, no-one would assume she was there. She felt the ancient power of the Matrix reach out to her. Maybe she wouldn’t regenerate after all. Maybe she would just enter the Matrix and that was that. She could feel its power engulfing her and images started flashing before her eyes. Exciting, thrilling images at that: The Citadel in ruins, Gallifrey on fire. The Twelve laughed at how beautiful a sight it was and how much she longed to see it being accomplished. They had always treated her as the outsider, the black sheep, the one that had gone wrong. They deserved to pay.

“Look at my work, Doctor, and despair!“ There was a man with dark hair and beard, and with him a blonde woman whom he had addressed and who appeared devastated at the sight in front of her.

“All this death… finally makes you happy?“ She turned to the man and the Twelve felt like she was looking right at her. She recognised the Doctor, even with a new face and a very different one at that. She looked so much older than the Doctor she had last encountered.

“Ecstatic,“ the man answered with a wide grin.

“And has it calmed all the rage?“ The Doctor demanded, leaning in closer, baring her teeth like a wild animal, intent on intimidating him and ready to leash out.

“I don’t think anything could ever do that,“ the man answered almost thoughtfully and the Twelve felt the sentiment in her very bones. She had tried to be better, in some small way. Not like the Eight but… better. And where had it got her? The rage was burning more fiercely than ever before and she smiled, a little at first and then, her face contorted into a wide grin as her skin started glowing. She had seen the future, she knew what she would be working towards. She would make them all pay.

“That’s right, that’s it. Burn Gallifrey to the ground. Make them pay,“ the Three was utterly delighted at the prospect, and even the Five had to admit:

“I’m partial to a beard, that is a future I’m keen to experience.“

“Fine, one last time. Just to make them pay,“ the Twelve giggled and regenerative energy burst out of her skin, shaping her body in accordance with the image she had seen.

——

Unknown Location

The Doctor spun her sonic in her hand as she regarded the Thirteen.

“It took me far too long to catch on, that’s on me. I did think it odd when you hardly spoke to Kate and Martha at all, considering that we do know each other pretty well. But the complete lack of your other personalities surfacing did have me fooled, you’re really not that great at controlling them. But when I realised who you are working with, you were bound to have taken a neural inhibitor from Gallifrey just in case,“ the Doctor explained with a triumphant smirk. “Neat trick, that you put a bandage around your arm like the Master had, that was clever.“ It had been a believable ruse.

“Your epiphany comes far too late as always, Doctor. The trap is sprung, you’re here, where we want you,“ the Thirteen snarled, slowly regaining control of his personalities again upon their chaotic release.

“What do you need me for anyway? You were right there on the TARDIS with me the entire time, why not kill me when I had my back turned? Why bring me here?“ The Doctor fixed her eyes on him.

“We have been carrying out very important work here,“ Padrac announced. “We will bring back the Time Lords and since your son’s DNA clearly doesn’t cut it, we are having to go back to the source once more.“ Padrac had hoped they would be successful with the Doctor’s child but clearly the genetic inheritance of River Song muddled the results somewhat.

“The Time Lords are gone. For good this time. You can’t just bring them back,“ the Doctor’s eyes shot to him.

“You watch me,“ Padrac smirked. “And your precious humans, no less. I did give it some thought, you know, and I figured: what a poetic justice. You’re the reason our people are dead, so I’m going to take your favourite race from you in turn.“ The Doctor recognised an age-old bitterness in him and she wondered if maybe part of him had been aware of the passage of time while in stasis, plotting his revenge and his anger festering over millennia.

“Giving them immortality hardly seems like taking them from me,“ she shot back.

“Not all of them of course. Just the ones that prove themselves worthy,“ Padrac carried on to explain.

“You mean, anyone that will follow you,“ the Doctor concluded, and the blond Time Lord nodded:

“People like Daniel Barton were more than eager to join the course.“

“I bet,“ she huffed. People like Daniel Barton would never miss out on an opportunity such as that. She returned her attention to the Thirteen: “And you? Out for your own skin? Twelve regenerations aren’t enough for you, are they, so close to the end?“

“You owe me a few, yes,“ the Thirteen chuckled.

“And for your last one, the Master’s face… how did that happen?“ The Doctor asked as it seemed like an incredible coincidence, even if they were working together.

“Oh this?“ The Thirteen pointed to his face and snarled: “Thought it was me, when the Matrix showed me the destruction of Gallifrey. Silly mistake. I so hoped it would be me to do that… small disappointments. Suffice to say I’m looking forward to getting a new face once we’re done here.“

“And the Master? Pulling the strings? What’s in it for him?“ It remained the one mystery she still couldn’t figure out. The Master had destroyed the Time Lords, why would he want to help Padrac bring them back? The Master had killed the Eleven, why now align himself with the Thirteen? It made no sense. “Where is he?“

——

“Stay where you are,“ River insisted, keeping her gun on the Master.

“River!“ Jack exclaimed, delighted to see her and worried she might make a foolish decision. “No need for that,“ he assured her, trying to make her lower the gun.

“Jack, what are you doing with him?“ River frowned.

“We’re escaping, he released me, and we’re just getting Ryan and Graham,“ Jack tried to explain but everybody else found that incredibly hard to believe.

“He released you?“ Graham asked, incredulous.

“Yes, that’s what I was just about to tell you,“ Jack nodded, looking into disbelieving faces.

“There is really no need, Professor Song,“ the Master spoke up at last, focusing his eyes on River who stared back at him with unveiled distaste.

“You bet there isn’t. You don’t know who you’re dealing with,“ River spat, good and ready to pull the trigger.

“Professor, contrary to what you might believe, I am here to help, and I’m glad to see you received my message, even if it needed redirecting a few times. Couldn’t risk being traced,“ the Master was patient to explain.

“That message was you?“ Yaz looked to River who appeared just as stunned. The only reason they had been able to find their way here had been a message, relayed through the Archangel network, with spacetime coordinates and passage codes. The person that had sent it had even been kind enough to lower the protective force fields around this place. They had presumed it was Jack’s accomplishment.

“I think you’re thinking of the wrong person.“ The Master frowned, realising the mistake.

“The wrong person?“ River echoed and he nodded:

“I’m not the Thirteen. I am the Master.“

“The Master? No, impossible, I have met the Thirteen and the Master and you are most definitely…“ River started, and he interrupted her firmly, they didn’t have time for this.

“We have the same face,“ he explained upon realising the last face of his that River Song had seen, had been Missy. The confusion could be forgiven.

“Who’s the Thirteen?“ Ryan, Graham and Jack exchanged confused glances. “That’s most definitely the Master.“

“How is that possible?“ River asked and the Master took a step closer to her, her gun pressing into his torso.

“I will tell you but first, you put the gun down, there is somewhere we need to be“, the Master insisted. “I will explain on the way.“

“He has been helping us so far,“ Jack said, hoping to assure everyone around.

“Why would I trust you? You are just as bad as the Thirteen…“ River started, slowly wrapping her head around the fact that two of her spouses' enemies were involved in this convoluted plot.

“I’ve had children… so has the Doctor, before now, I mean…“ The Master answered, and it was an explanation enough. “And when you’ve lost a child… you don’t let that happen to anyone else, your friend or your enemy.“

“Where are we going?“ River lowered her gun.

“To save your son,“ the Master explained. “And your wife, though I am less keen on that part.“

——

“The Master?“ Padrac echoed and nearly started laughing. “What has he got to do with anything?“

“He’s in on this, isn’t he?“ The Doctor frowned, confused by his reaction.

“The Master? You seem to forget he killed my eleventh self!“ The Thirteen laughed. “He’s better off running, if I get my hands on him, I will kill him.“

“Then how did he willingly swap places with you?“ The Doctor looked in between the other two Time Lords.

“Coward. He stole my TARDIS on Demon’s Run, without him there would have been no need for me to stoop so low and impersonate him,“ the Thirteen snarled.

“Hang on, you mean you’ve come straight from Demon’s Run without your TARDIS and you haven’t been back here?“ It was Padrac’s turn to look confused now.

“When would I have had the opportunity to do that?“ The Thirteen looked at Padrac bewildered.

That’s when it dawned on Padrac that there was an unbidden guest in their midst. He slammed the communicator on his wrist.

“Lock down the base, check on the prisoners,“ he ordered but there was no response. “Hello?“

“Something the matter?“ The Doctor grinned when the penny dropped for her too. She was not the only one that had fallen for the old switcheroo.

“The com-lines are down. What have you done?“ Padrac yelled at the Doctor.

“Me? Nothing, but I think I may have underestimated my oldest friend,“ she grinned in return.

“Ma’am?“ Strax took the opportunity to tug at the Doctor’s sleeve.

“Yes, Strax?“ She asked.

“Do you think now would be a good time to…“ He nodded towards the guards.

“Now would be a perfect time to,“ the Doctor nodded in confirmation, and Strax didn’t need to be told twice. Neither did any of the others, they threw themselves at the guards, and a wild fistfight broke out.

“Imbeciles, subdue them!“ Padrac shouted but with Jenny and Vastra in possession of swords, momentum quickly shifted.

That was when Padrac panicked, drawing upon his last resort. It was a mad gamble but he dashed to the wall controls and lowered the temporal grace field. With a blinding flash, the grenade that Strax had engaged before went off. Padrac was most disappointed when he realised it had only been a flash grenade with the purpose of disorienting the enemy. The Doctor’s friends weren’t mad enough to gamble their lives after all. It was enough to disorient them as advertised, and the Thirteen grasped his opportunity. He surged forward and wrapped his arm around the Doctor’s neck, pressing a knife to her throat.

“Doctor!“ Vastra exclaimed when she got her bearings back and realised what was going on.

“You’re coming with me!“ The Thirteen snarled.

“Calm down everyone, it’ll be fine!“ The Doctor shouted to her friends.

“Surrender or the Doctor dies!“ Padrac shouted.

“Nah, that’s your problem, we’re out of here,“ the Thirteen pulled the Doctor along, and Padrac realised he had backed the wrong horse.

“Just you and me then?“ The Doctor huffed at the Thirteen, shooting her friends reassuring glances. “Why not! Lead the way.“ She allowed herself to be dragged away down the corridor.

“Do something!“ Padrac was shouting panicked commands at his few remaining soldiers but to no avail, he was cut off moments after by the arrival of more unbidden guests.

“Show’s over, Padrac,“ the Master snarled but it was River that struck him down with a right hook that sent him flying. And just like that, the fighting was over.

“Professor Song!“ Vastra exclaimed in delight as Strax set about putting handcuffs on the unconscious Time Lord. That had been quite the right hook.

“Yaz!“ Jenny called in relief and Gwen was quick to rush to their friends as well:

“Jack! Ryan! Graham! You’re ok!“ There was a moment of elation in victory.

“Vastra! Jenny! Strax!“ River was overwhelmed. “Kate, Gwen, Martha, Mickey… wow, that’s quite the…“ She looked around the room, noticing one very important person amiss: “Where is the Doctor?“

“The Thirteen took her…“ Kate answered quickly and picked up her gun. Now that the temporal grace field was gone, they were of use again.

“This way Professor.“ The Master wasted no time to drag River along.

——

“What do you think you’re doing?“ The Doctor asked as the Thirteen forced her onto a stretcher, strapping her to it. They found themselves in what the Doctor could only presume to be the main laboratory at the heart of the base.

“Shut up. I can do this,“ the Thirteen hissed as he turned to the instruments but seemed at an utter loss.

“No you can’t, you haven’t been here, you don’t know anything about the research, you were in the TARDIS with me,“ the Doctor reasoned.

“Shut up!“ The Thirteen snapped again. “I need to focus.“ His voice was tense, his posture jittery, and his eyes darted in between the instruments indecisively. The Doctor saw her opportunity. The Thirteen was slowly panicking.

“You’re going off the rails, it’s all going wrong, isn’t it, you can’t focus,“ she said, poking the bear.

“Shut up!“ The Thirteen roared, with the Six taking over.

“Can’t do it, can you? What are you even doing?“ The Doctor sensed she was on the right path so she pushed on as the Thirteen picked up a syringe. “Not that one.“

“I don’t need you to be conscious,“ the other Time Lord spat with the Seven emerging, his movements more purposeful.

“Yeah you do, cause you need my help,“ the Doctor insisted and the response was quick and violent:

“I don’t need your help!“

“If you don’t, then why haven’t you done it already?“ The Doctor put on her best condescending smirk.

“Doctor!“ A voice called from the door and the Doctor allowed herself a sigh of relief. She had no words for how happy she felt for hearing her wife’s voice again and to see her rush towards her, followed by ample reinforcements.

“Hello all,“ she smiled though she only had eyes for River. For a moment she even forgot about the Thirteen and her own precarious situation. Her hearts burst with joy of seeing her wife alive after having presumed her dead for so long.

“Step away from her.“ It was the Master’s snarl that drew her back to reality. The Master of all people advanced towards the Thirteen who was his spitting image.

“I don’t think so, no no no, I've got to finish this.“ The Thirteen shook his head and quickly retrieved his knife to press it to the Doctor’s throat again.

“Get away!“ The Master repeated, his voice low and threatening.

“No, you get away!“ The Thirteen exclaimed, his eyes darting around the room, and he slammed a button on the workstation.

Suddenly, out of a hidden dimension, a cot appeared.

“Phased a few seconds out of time, clever.“ The Doctor balled her hands to fists as she laid eyes on her son for the first time. River gasped in surprise and the Master squared his jaw, watching as the Thirteen picked up the child as a means of defence. River was about to go for him but the Master held her back.

“Out of here, all of you!“ The Thirteen barked. “Don’t make me do something you’ll regret!“ The Doctor exchanged a glance with the Master and forced her mind into sharp focus. She couldn’t allow emotions to cloud her judgement, not now, not when River was barely holding it together. The Doctor looked to her wife, the expression of pain and longing on her face broke her hearts, as she struggled against the Master’s firm grip.

“Someone help me out of this!“ The Doctor called and Vastra was quick to oblige as the Thirteen watched with mad determination.

“Don’t try anything!“ He threatened and the baby in his arms started crying.

“I’m going to kill you,“ River growled trying to reach for her gun but the Master continued to restrain her. He glanced to the Doctor who took a deep breath, deciding on the best course of action. She knew how to deal with a mad man, she had plenty of practice.

“See, here’s the thing, whatever you’ve been doing here, I can’t let it continue, all of this, it needs to go,“ the Doctor said, facing the Thirteen. She focused on his face, rather than the crying infant in his arms. She couldn’t get distracted. “So what we’re going to do is blow this whole place up.“

“You can’t,“ the Thirteen spat. “Not while I have your child!“

“Yes, we can. You’ve drawn the short straw in this standoff. We can blow this place up anytime. I’ll regenerate, so will the Master, so will my son! Really, it’s just you that’s left, isn’t it, and you will die a proper death this time,“ she stated, her voice low and threatening.

“Get everyone else out of here and get the Sontaran to rig the place,“ the Master called to Vastra. The Silurian shot a quick glance to the Doctor who just nodded in confirmation.

“Out of here, everyone!“ Vastra ordered and Kate relayed her order, they had to trust that the Doctor knew what she was doing.

“I’m staying as well, I’m not going anywhere until I have my son,“ River announced and stopped struggling at last. She realised her wife knew what she was doing and she chose to trust her. The Master, in turn, let go of her.

“There is a compromise to be made here, Thirteen,“ the Doctor took a step towards the renegade, demanding his attention as the room emptied. “You’re scared of dying, I get that, I can help, we can help. The Master has expertise in this too, we can give you another circle of regenerations but only once you hand my son over to River.“ She looked to the baby who’s hair was beginning to turn to soft curls, reminiscent of his mother’s. “Or we go the nuclear option.“ Her eyes snapped back up to the Thirteen. “What the hell, time for a new face.“

“I was looking forward to getting to know this one,“ River commented with a sigh.

“Sorry, love.“ The Doctor gave a soft smile, and the Master went along with it as well:

“Ah what the hell, I don’t want to be left looking like him anyway.“

“Fine, fine!“ The Thirteen exclaimed, feeling the pressure but panicked again when the Doctor stepped closer:  “No, no, don’t come closer, you give me what I want first!“ He demanded. “You have no way of knowing whether he will regenerate or not! His DNA wasn’t enough to replicate the process, what makes you think the little mudblood can even regenerate? You fix up the serum first!“ He gestured towards the medical instruments.

“Alright look, here…“ The Doctor held up her hands appeasingly and turned to the workstation. She picked up a syringe. With all eyes on her, she drew up a sample of her own blood and placed the syringe back on the tray. “If you run it through the sequencing process and then generate the serum, it should work.“

“How do I know you’re not trying to trick me?“ The Thirteen spat.

“That’s the sort of thing you’d do, I’m not like you. Now, you haven’t got much time.“ The Doctor took a step closer and held her hands out to him. The Thirteen made no attempt at handing over the child. The Doctor pulled out her screwdriver and returned to the work station. She soniced it once she found what she was looking for and pressed a button. “Start a countdown and blow up this place in five minutes,“ she spoke into the newly restored intercom, and only seconds later Kate replied on the same channel:

“Affirmative, we’re out of here, Doctor, starting the countdown for five minutes. Good luck!“ The line went dead with static.

“See?“ The Doctor turned back to the Thirteen. “Clock is ticking, time to make a decision, hand over my son.“

“No, no, no, it’s a trick,“ the Three pushed to the forefront of the Thirteen’s mind.

“No tricks but a ticking clock,“ River announced, taking a step towards him. “You still have time to get out of here with the serum.“ She pulled her gun on him for added pressure but she didn’t dare fire, her eyes fixed on her son. The Thirteen was right of course, there was no way of knowing whether their son was actually able to regenerate. It stood to reason as she had been able to herself at some point too, but it was not a given. She couldn’t take the risk. She trusted her wife knew what she was doing. She had dealt with the Thirteen far more frequently than the Master or she herself had.

“Feeling the pressure yet?“ The Master for his part appeared to be enjoying the sense of impending doom as he took a twirl.

“What are you doing?“ The Thirteen shrieked.

“You were never good under pressure, none of you were,“ the Doctor commented. “Four and a half minutes.“

“Stop it!“ The Thirteen shouted.

“Why, are we confusing you?“ The Master laughed.

“Give them the child!“ One of the Thirteen’s personalities shouted in near panic. “No, don’t, kill them, get out of here, kill the child and run-“ Another protested. “No, don’t, stop it, we can’t keep going like this, thirteen is enough, no more, please!“ Yet another interrupted pleading, until the Thirteen regained control. “Shut up all of you!“ He yelled, pressing a hand to his temple.

“Eight! Was that you?“ The Doctor recognised the voice that had pleaded for them to stop.

“Yes, but I can’t hold on, they’re all fighting amongst each other, too much-“ The Eight was there, distinct amongst the other voices, but the Thirteen forced him back: “Back in your box, Eight!“

“Some of you are reasonable, Twelve, you know this is just a stupid way to go! Seven, you too! Eleven, after everything, your desperate struggle for survival, are you really going to let it end like this?“ The Doctor saw her chance and the Thirteen was staggering now, disoriented.

“Four minutes,“ the Master interjected.

“Eight, come on, you can do it,“ the Doctor implored him.

“No. No, no, no, no,“ the Thirteen whimpered.

“Doctor, we need to do something.“ River was getting nervous, they weren’t getting anywhere.

“Help me,“ the Doctor said and River turned back to the Thirteen.

“Eight, remember when we met? The Doomsday Chronometer? You were trying to stop Padrac and your future self then, you can do it again now,“ she drew his attention away from the Doctor. She tried her best to recall the Eight when he had been himself. Kind, helpful and good, perhaps the Doctor was right, perhaps he could do this one last thing for them. “You are a good man!“

“NO! Shut up!“ The Thirteen yelled but River’s words cut through the chatter. “Professor, I’m so sorry, I can’t…I… don’t want to keep doing this anymore, please, you have to stop this.“ The Eight was back and he staggered forward.

“Three minutes,“ the Master announced.

River rushed forward and met the renegade Time Lord half way. The Eight held on just long enough to hand over the child and River pulled her son into her arms.

“It’s okay, Eight, it’s okay, thank you!“ The Doctor let go a sigh of relief.

“You are an embarrassment, we will bury you…“ The Thirteen shouted, wrestling control from his past self and River didn’t hesitate. She pointed her gun at him and shot him square in the chest.

“River!“ The Doctor exclaimed, shocked. “What have you done?“

“What the Eight wanted,“ River answered as she watched the Thirteen drop to all fours, his lives and energy spent. There was no golden hue, no fizzing of energy, not this time. They didn’t hang around to witness what happened next, their time was up.

“Let’s get out of here before the place blows up,“ the Master grabbed both of their arms and pulled them along, back to the TARDIS that they had two and a half minutes to get working again. With all the shields and suppression fields lifted, it was the easiest job of the day.

——

The TARDIS

“How… are you doing…“ The Doctor took a step towards River as the TARDIS launched and made for Torchwood Two.

“Good… we’re both… good…“ River managed a little smile as she smoothed back her son’s curls. “We should run a scan, maybe, make sure he’s really, properly, okay…“ She hummed but for the moment, she contented herself by holding him close. He had settled in her arms as if he had never been away.

“I can’t believe you’re really here…“ The Doctor breathed, looking at River in wonder. Against all odds, her wife had returned to her. It had been a most painstaking adventure but maybe, just this once, the end justifies the means.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…“ River met her eyes and the Doctor just smiled.

“Things got away from us a little bit, didn’t they,“ the Doctor sighed and River chuckled.

“All is well that ends well.“ She reached out and cupped her wife’s cheek. “Thank you for coming for us.“

“Always,“ the Doctor promised and pressed a soft kiss to her wife’s lips.

“Do you want to hold him?“ River asked and the Doctor bit back tears.

“Yes, please,“ she whispered and River passed their son to her. She rested her head on her shoulder as she watched her wife and son get acquainted. The Doctor swallowed and took a deep breath, struggling for composure as she ran her hand along her son’s cheek and the baby reached out, curling it’s little hand around her finger.

“He will need a name,“ River hummed and pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek.

“Master Junior!“ The Master called from the console and River and the Doctor looked around, the perfect family moment ruined. They had completely forgotten he was even there. “Sorry, were you not quite done yet? It’s not like she’s in any state to come up with a name now anyway,“ he snarked. “I’ll have us arrive in six hours time then, shall I? Give everyone a chance to get back to your little base yeah?“ He gestured to the TARDIS controls. “Am I the only one who thinks practically around here?“

“This doesn’t undo what you did on Gallifrey…“ The Doctor spoke at last.

“No, I don’t suppose it does…“ He retorted without looking at her, his voice surprisingly reflective.

“But it’s a start.“

——

Torchwood Two Hub, 21st Century

“Thank you all so very much,“ the Doctor looked around the room to her numerous friends who had managed to make their way back to their base. She was beyond relieved to find them all with only minor injuries from the fistfight and in good spirits all round. They had won!

“It has been a pleasure,“ Kate took it upon herself to speak for all of them. They all shared the same sentiment.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, any of you. I’m sorry if… I was a bit much to deal with at times…“ The Doctor looked around the room into knowing faces.

“That’s an understatement…“ Yaz huffed and everybody laughed. In victory, the bumps and bruises they had sustained along the way were forgotten. What mattered was that the Doctor’s child was safe. The little boy was sleeping peacefully in River’s arms after they had checked him over and he turned out to be completely fine.

“Sorry, but are we going to forget all the Master’s crimes because he did one nice thing?“ It was Martha that felt she needed to be the voice of reason as she pointed to the Master who was hanging back, staying close to the door as if ready to make an escape at any point. It was obvious from his body posture that he didn’t feel he belonged here.

“No, but I am under the impression the Master is eager to make amends,“ the Doctor announced looking around to him.

“I am?“ He frowned and she nodded.

“He is,“ she confirmed. She had had a little bit of time to consider the best course of action and she felt confident she had found it. “There is a TARDIS in the wreckage of that place… you will find it, repair it and for your first trip take Madame Kovarian and Padrac to suitable new homes.“

“Where might that be?“ River asked. She herself would probably have opted for executing both of them, a sentiment the Master surely could get behind, but she knew it wasn’t the Doctor’s way. She was still upset with her for having shot the Thirteen but she had come around to see her reasoning. The Eight had asked for a release, and it was the only thing they could do for him, after he had returned their son to them.

“Stormcage for Madame Kovarian, I was thinking, time she found out where her schemes led River and how thoroughly unpleasant prison can be when you haven’t got the luxury of a Time Lord bailing you out now and again,“ the Doctor answered. “And I think Padrac would like to return to Gallifrey, wouldn’t he? To the ruins of it. Let him try and rebuild there.“

“I suppose so,“ the Master huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. It wasn’t the most unpleasant task. He would enjoy dropping Padrac on the dead rock that was their home world, it seemed like just punishment, and while he didn’t have much of an opinion on Madame Kovarian, it was a favour he wouldn’t mind doing the Doctor and her wife. All things considered, he would walk out of the arrangement with a TARDIS of his own so it seemed worth the trouble.

“And, as hopeful as I might be that you have changed your ways, I am not inclined to believe it just yet. So I would suggest an entourage of Torchwood and UNIT agents? I’m sure they would appreciate your help in dealing with the frequent incursions they face,“ the Doctor carried on, a winning smile crossing her features.

“Come on, Doctor, that’s not…“ The Master started to protest but she shook her head.

“No, you’re not getting out of it. You have amends to make. Remember my time as a UNIT special advisor? Let’s say it’s your turn now.“

“How long for?“ The Master huffed.

“Until I am satisfied that you have repaid your debt. You have destroyed one of my homes, now you can do your bit to protect the other,“ the Doctor explained sternly. “At least while I take some time away to be with my family.“

“Anything else?“ The Master sighed, exasperated.

“That’ll do for now, I’ll be in touch. I would have said you can drop Vastra and the gang on your way but I suppose they might want to get home sooner rather than later.“ The Doctor smiled at Vastra, Strax and Jenny who this fateful adventure had started with. “Come on guys, let’s drop you home.“ She nodded for them to follow out of the hub and back to the surface where her TARDIS was parked. “And you, my brave, wonderful friends…“ She beamed at the remainder of her companions, words failing her for how grateful she was to each and every one of them.

“I’m sure we will do just fine with our new recruit.“ Kate gave her a reassuring smile.

“No doubt about it,“ Jack confirmed with a grin, as did Gwen, the Osgoods, Martha and Mickey.

“I’m sure you will.“ The Doctor winked at the Master who rolled his eyes and held his hands up appeasingly. He seemed to have no intention of making life hard for them.

“Fam, I think you’ve found a new home here.“ The Doctor turned to Ryan and Graham who had walked over to join the Torchwood and UNIT agents.

“Well, someone needs to look after Earth while you go on paternity leave,“ Graham joked and the Doctor chuckled and nodded. She was glad to see them doing so well, it was an incredible joy to see them all working together. “What about you, Yaz, are you staying with them or…“ She wasn’t sure how to approach the third member of her fam. Yaz had wanted to keep travelling with her but this would be a bit different going forward, at least for a time.

“You know what, Doctor… I think I’d like to go with Vastra, Jenny and Strax… if they’ll have me of course…“ Yaz looked to the Paternoster Gang with a sheepish smile. It had been quite the adventure they had been on together and she had given the matter a lot of thought. She wasn’t quite ready to give up on the life of adventure yet but the Doctor would need to spend time with her family now. After their epic adventure through space, solid ground would make a nice change. Fighting crime in Victorian England sounded like just the adventure she needed next.

“You are welcome to stay for as long as you like,“ Vastra smiled.

“How come?“ The Doctor asked, genuinely surprised and curious in equal measures. She would have expected her to want to stay with Torchwood but she had clearly underestimated the journey she had been on with the Paternoster Gang.

“I’ve had enough of space and age-old feuds for a while… I think I’d like to discover more of Earth and focus on more human monsters for a while. What can I say, I’m a trainee police officer… who better to learn the trade from than a real life Sherlock Holmes,“ Yaz grinned, delighted at the idea. She knew that she could always call upon her and hatch a lift back to her time when she was good and ready.

“Well in that case, next stop Victorian London!“ The Doctor grinned and bid farewell to the protectors of 21st Century Earth.

——

“Professor, I just want to say… I’m sorry we weren’t better guardians to your son.“ Vastra felt the need to apologise one more time as they found themselves outside the front door of Paternoster Row.

“You are the bravest, most loyal group of friends anyone could wish for. You have crossed all of time and space to bring us back together, you saved me from Demon’s Run, you have done more than I could ever ask of you.“ River took Vastra’s hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. She understood the Silurian was a creature with an honour-based belief system, but surely she had to see that any debt she thought she owed her had been repaid tenfold.

“We’re just glad everything turned out alright,“ Jenny smiled, looping her arm around her wife’s.

“Everything turned out just fine,“ the Doctor assured them.

“Ma’am, will we be having visitors, shall I prepare tea?“ Strax asked and Vastra looked to the Doctor and River.

“Would you care to come in? I’m afraid the kitchen is still a bit of a mess but I’m sure Strax can manage,“ the lady of the house asked.

“We will get out of your hair for now,“ the Doctor chuckled. “But we will be dropping by, don’t worry.“ The Doctor gave Yaz a kind smile, hoping she would enjoy the change of scenery and the young woman mirrored the gesture.

“Look after yourself and your family,“ Yaz smiled and the Doctor nodded, sharing a glance with River, intent on doing just that.

“Let’s go home.“ The Doctor reached for her wife’s hand and pressed a kiss to her son’s head before they headed back to the TARDIS.

END.

-------------------

Author notes: Okay, so first of all, thank you very much for reading!!! I appreciate each and every one of you and your lovely comments, ideas and opinions, they honestly make my day and bring me so much joy, it keeps me writing and knowing you enjoy my sometimes confusing and ridiculously complicated stories, that's just the best!!!

I really hope you found the ending satisfying and that I wrapped up all plot points properly. I'll leave you to imagine what adventures the Master gets up to with UNIT/Torchwood and whether he can stay on the straight and narrow, how Yaz gets on in Victorian London with the Paternoster Gang and of course how the Doctor, her wife and their son navigate family life together! I don't now if I will ever revisit this universe, probably not for a while, but I left my options open (hence them not watching the Thirteen die and the Doctor leaving the sample behind, who knows maybe they find a way of dragging themselves over there, making the serum and getting more regenerations before everything blows up, Time Lords take forever to die :P).

I had several different endings planned for this along the way (The Master was going to be evil and behind it all when I first set out. At one point I had planned for River to go back in time and abduct the baby from Paternoster Row and replacing it with a flesh avatar - that's why I gave her the Clocksmith's TARDIS in the first place :D - and she was going to drop him off with the Eighth Doctor at Bakerstreet...) but in the end, this felt like the one that fit best. I really wanted to have the Master working with UNIT and mirror the Third Doctor's time in exile that way. So yes, all in all, I really hope this worked for you!!

Last but not least, I'd be delighted if any of you chose to check out the big project I'm going to be focusing on now: A Numbers Game (I'll probably be posting the next chapter tomorrow!). I realise it's a bit of a departure from my normal stuff but I'm very excited about it and the storyline will be as timey-whimy and confusing as this one lol. Also, you've now spent plenty of time with one of the Eighth Doctor's best villains, why not spent some time with Eight and his companions and read about them fighting Daleks with Thirteen, River and co? Plus, there will be more of UNIT, Torchwood and the Fam teaming up! :D

Anyway, enough self-promotion :D Again, thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

[autumnsart22]

Oikawa x reader ch. 12

Sorry for the angst this chapter 🤭 Hope you still enjoy though!

Kuroo flicked me hard on the cheek. “Wrong again! Damn, this isn’t that hard.” 

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “Chemistry is so boring!” 

Kenma looked up from across the table briefly from his game. “I wouldn’t say that, Y/n-san. Kuroo is a chemistry nerd. He loves it.” 

Bokuto laughed loudly in agreement, Akaashi snapping at him to get back to work. 

It was Sunday afternoon, and I sat at Kenma’s dining room table with Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kenma. Exams were coming up, and all of us were cramming as much studying in as possible. I had decided to tag along with the captains and setters of Fukurodani and Nekoma, knowing that they could help me with some of my work. 

I let out a pathetic moan, shoving my science homework aside. “I can’t! My brain is fried, it’s too much!” 

“Take a break,” Akaashi suggested. “Come back to it later.” 

I sighed, sliding out of my chair. “How about I don’t come back to it later?”

Kuroo chuckled. “I hope you know you’re never going to pass your chemistry exam, sorry.” 

I flipped him off, turning to Kenma. “Wanna play Mario Kart?” 

The Nekoma setter glanced up from his game, eyeing me. “Really?”

“Dude I love Mario Kart, why wouldn’t I want to play?” The long haired boy moved faster than I had ever seen. “Ok, I’ll set it up.”

Bokuto whined. “Akaaashiiii please let me play? I don’t want to write this anymore.”

Akaashi sighed. “Bokuto-san, you’re failing English. You need to study if you’re going to pass.” 

“But--!” 

“Fine, but only twenty minutes.” 

Bokuto whooped, and I covered my mouth to hide my smile. I noticed red staining Akaashi’s cheeks, and I glanced at Kuroo. The black haired captain was smirking as he surveyed the two Fukurodani players, and I resolved to ask him about it later. 

Bokuto and I raced to the living room, where Kenma sat cross legged on the rug. A few controls were already laid out, and I positioned myself next to Kenma. 

As we played, we got insanely loud, even Kenma. The short boy won every round, but I got kind of close on our third game, which caused him to start shouting louder than I had ever heard. Bokuto was the worst, flipping off the road more than actually driving and laughing giddily as he collided with other cars. 

After our fifth round playing, I threw down my control in defeat. “Dammit Kenma, can’t you just let me win one??” He smiled a little. “No, definitely not.” 

“Are you guys done?” Kuroo called from the kitchen. 

I scrambled from my spot on the floor, grabbing Bokuto’s arm. “Time to get back to work!” 

The Fukurodani captain groaned but followed me back into the kitchen, Kenma trailing behind. 

As I took a seat at the table, my phone dinged. I pulled it from my pocket, feeling my stomach leap as I saw Oikawa’s name across the screen. I opened the message, smiling a little as I read it. 

Oikawa

Hey Y/n-chan! R u free this saturday? 

Y/n

Ya why? 

Oikawa

There’s apparently a big volleyball club party happening in the city

Y/n

Oh cool with all the local teams? 

Oikawa

Yeah, and its at this big club 😱

Y/n

Sure ill come :)

Oikawa

Do you have a ride? I can drive you

Y/n

R u sure? I can drive myself

Oikawa

No I want to drive u

Y/n

Haha ok if you say so

Oikawa

🤩

Ill pick you up at 6 on saturday

I laughed a little, setting my phone down, only to find everyone at the table staring at me.

“What?” I asked. 

“Who were you just texting?” Kuroo asked, and I blushed furiously. 

“No one.”

“Hm...right.” 

Before I could blink, Bokuto snatched my phone off the table, clicking the screen and reading the last text from Oikawa. 

“OHOHOOOO, Mr. Pretty Boy from the beach!” He yelled. 

“Seijoh’s captain?” Kuroo asked. 

I groaned. “Stoppppp, he was just asking about a party this weekend.” 

“Then why are you blushing so much, Y/n-san?” 

Everyone at the table laughed and I buried my burning face in my hands. 

            ✨✨✨✨

Apparently the party at the club was going to be huge, even bigger than the beach one. Karasuno was going, as well as Nekoma and Fukurodani. 

I debated for way too long on what I should wear, eventually facetiming Kiyoko for support. She was wearing a glittery gold cocktail dress, so I didn’t feel bad about wearing my skin tight black body con dress. 

I usually didn’t wear much makeup, but I ended up putting on shimmery eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lip gloss, dressing the whole look down by wearing my adidas sneakers. 

At 5:46, I was so nervous, I felt like I was going to puke. I paced around my room, tugging on my dress and second guessing everything I was doing. God, I needed to calm the fuck down. It was just Oikawa, and it wasn’t even like we were going alone. 

I looped my bag over my shoulder, jogging down the stairs. I snatched my phone from the charger on the kitchen table and scrolled through my snapchat. Kiyoko was already at the club, proven by a video on her story of Tanaka and Nishinoya dancing together in the middle of a crowd, lights flashing different colors in a confusing blur. 

As I clicked over to instagram, I heard a knock on the door and froze. I practically fell out of my chair as I scrambled over to the door, flinging it open. 

Oikawa leaned against the side of the house, dressed in jeans, black shirt with a matching black bomber jacket, a pair of glasses sliding down his nose. My heart thumped, and I pressed my hands together to keep them from shaking. 

“Hey,” I said, smiling. 

Oikawa looked up and froze, eyes wide. “Y-You-”  His gaze moved down my body, his lips partying slightly as he let out a breath. “You look great.” 

I bit my lip and laughed a little. “Thanks. You do too.” 

He raked his hand through his hair, looking slightly flustered. Clearing his throat, he smiled radiantly. “Are you ready?”

“Yup! How long is the drive?” We walked together to the car, and he opened the door to the passenger side for me. I tugged down my dress as I slid onto his leather seat, and Oikawa set up directions on his phone to the club. 

“How is the rest of the team getting there?” I asked. 

Oikawa shrugged. “No clue. I think most of them are hitching Ubers so they don’t have to worry about getting drunk.” 

“Very responsible,” I grinned. 

“Speaking of responsibility…” he whipped a joint and passed it to me with a lighter. I took it, sticking the end in my mouth, lighting it, and taking a large hit. “Hey save some for me!” He cried. 

As we drove, top down, we blasted Harry Styles at full volume. I stood up with my hands in the air, the night air whipping across my skin and making me feel like I was flying. 

It was a way shorter drive than I expected, but parking took forever. Cars were lined up all down all the surrounding blocks, and we had to find a spot a few blocks away. As we walked, Oikawa smoked the remainder of the joint and we poked fun at each other. 

As we approached the club, there was a line of people out the door and down the block. I groaned when I saw it, but Oikawa spotted Iwaizumi and a few other Seijoh players closer to the door, so we slid down the line to be with them. 

“Woah, Y/n, you’re looking fine as hell!” Yuda smirked. I felt Oikawa stiffen beside me, but I laughed out loud. 

“Thanks Yuda, that means a lot.” 

As we got closer to the doors, music echoed into the night, practically shaking the sidewalk. My adrenaline was spiking, and I bounced on my heels in excitement. 

Iwaizumi looked a bit more stoic, and I leaned over to him to whisper in his ear. “Hey Iwa, how are you doing? Is your mom ok?” 

Iwaizumi smiled and touched my arm, nodding. “Yeah, thanks for asking. She got back from the hospital yesterday, and she’s doing a lot better.”

“Oh that’s great to hear!” 

He nodded, and I looped one of my arms with his, the other with Oikawa on the other side. “I’m glad you guys are here with me,” I said, smiling. “I’m glad I met you.” 

“Aw, chibi-chan, no need to get so sentimental,” Oikawa smirked, poking my shoulder.

I pushed him lightly, but sighed. “I’m serious. I really thought that Aoba Johsai was going to be a terrible fit, but I’m so lucky to have you guys as friends.” 

I didn’t notice the slightly pained expression on Oikawa’s face, or the pitying one Iwa shot his friend, practically screaming friendzoned.

Iwaizumi ruffled my hair. “I’m happy you ended up coming to Seijoh and becoming our manager too. I wish you had joined earlier so we could have spent more time with you in high school.” 

Oikawa opened his mouth to add something, but we reached the front of the line. By that point, the music was so loud that we had to shout to be heard over it. The bouncers at the front waved us through after we showed our student IDs, marking us as part of a local volleyball team. Apparently one of the local players had rented out the entire club for this party. 

As I entered the club with Iwaizumi and Oikawa on either side, I was momentarily overwhelmed. The huge dance floor was covered with people, colored lights flashing wildly across their writhing figures, smoke hovering in a cloud over the entire scene. The music pounded so hard, it was like I was feeling it in my chest. 

My body automatically began to move, dragging me towards the mass of people. I grabbed Oikawa’s hand, pulling him along behind me as we entered the chaos. 

“Call on Me” by Starley and Ryan Riback began to pound through the speakers, and I jumped up and down wildly, holding Oikawa’s hands and laughing until I was practically wheezing. 

“Y/n-chan?!” I looked over to see Daichi and Suga emerging from the crowd, both of them looking a little breathless. I laughed giddily and hugged both of them, still dancing to the music. Oikawa also reintroduced himself, which was a little awkward over the volume of the music, but they were all civil. 

“There’s a karaoke bar downstairs!” Suga yelled over the music, having to repeat himself a few times for me to finally hear him. 

“Karaoke? Ooooh, fun. Oikawa, wanna go?”

“Yeah sure, and I can show you my amazing singing skills!” 

“You’ve already shown me, and they were terrible, Oikawa-chan.”

“So mean!” 

We made our way out of the crowd together, wandering through some twisting hallways and getting lost multiple times before we finally found the stairs. A huge group of people were gathered down by the karaoke machine, and I spotted Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Hinata among them. 

“Hey guys!” I cried, joining them. Hinata glared at Oikawa when he noticed him, but for once I was glad Kageyama wasn’t with him. At least that tension could be avoided for the time being. 

“Y/n-chan!” Bokuto crushed me in a hug. “You ready for some karaoke?” 

I smirked, tossing my hair. “Of course! Not to brag, but I’m a pretty good singer.” It was partially the truth; my mom had forced me to take singing lessons throughout junior high, and I had kept it up a bit in high school, so my voice was decent. Definitely not what could be considered very good though. 

Bokuto ended up singing a slow Adele song to Akaashi, completely wrecking it with his horrendous voice. The Fukurodani setter seemed touched though, so I didn’t make fun of the captain that much. 

I didn’t notice Oikawa disappear from beside me as a few more songs went by, but he reappeared after only a few minutes, grabbing my arm and tugging me to his chest. 

“Wanna do a duet?”

I laughed. “Of what song?”

“Juice, by Lizzo,” he smirked. “Basically describes me, so it’s perfect!”

“But that’s not a duet--!”

I heard the beginning of the song starting on the speakers, and my eyes went wide as saucers. “You already requested it?!” 

He shrugged. “Yup! Now let's go!”

He practically dragged me to the front, where we were handed two microphones. Oikawa began to sing almost immediately, his confidence making up for his horrible voice. The ridiculous way he wriggled around made me instantly more comfortable, so I threw caution to the wind and became his backup singer. 

“If I’m shining everybody wanna shine…” He belted out. 

“Yeah I’m goals!” I screamed. 

 “I was born like this, don't even gotta try--” “Now you know!”

“I'm like chardonnay, get better over time.”

 “So you know!”

“Heard you say I'm not the baddest, bitch, you lied!” 

The song ended, and I wrapped an arm around his waist to keep from collapsing from laughter. We stumbled off the stage together, making our way back to Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Hinata, who all applauded us as we approached. 

“I have to send you this video, Y/n-chan! It’s classic,” Kuroo said, gesturing to his phone, where a video of Oikawa and I’s performance played. 

“HA! Please do.” 

Oikawa turned to me, checking his phone. “Iwa is wondering where I am, so I’m going to try and find him. Want to come?”

I nodded. “Yeah, just one sec. Can I meet you up there? I’ll call if I can’t find you.” 

Oikawa nodded, flicking me on the nose. “Don’t get lost, chibi-chan.” 

I ended up staying with Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi for another ten minutes. Kenma had apparently flat out refused to go to the club, and Kuroo had decided not to force him. Akaashi handed me a few different drinks as I talked to them, so when I finally decided to head back upstairs, I was walking a little crookedly. 

Miraculously, I found Iwaizumi almost the instant I got to the second floor. “Heyyy, Iwa!” 

“Y/n-chan, there you are! Oikawa was just going to look for you,” he grabbed my arm so I wouldn’t stumble. “Damn, you’re wasted.” 

“Do you know where Oikawa went? I-I want to find him--” 

Iwaizumi gave me a knowing look, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, he went that way. Just try not to say or do anything you’ll regret tomorrow. ” 

I giggled, face flushing. “I’ll tryyy.” 

Iwaizumi patted me on the head, pointing towards the crowd again. “He’s somewhere over that way. If you can’t find him after a few minutes, come back. I’ll be waiting right here, got it?”

I nodded, already turning away. All my fog filled brain could think of was finding Oikawa and telling him...something. Did I really want to confess how I felt? My sober brain screamed absolutely not, but my drunken head said YES. 

The second I entered the crowd, it was like entering utter chaos. I was bumped from all sides by dancers who paid me no attention, the smoke in the air making everything hazy, the smell of sweat and marijuana reeking from everything. I could barely make out the faces of the people around me because of the darkness, the only lumination coming from the colored flashing lights above our heads. 

I pushed on, not paying any attention to the people around me. My eyes scanned the dark shadows for a familiar figure, but it was too confusing to be able to tell who was who. 

“Y/n!” I whirled around to see Kiyoko squeezing between two people, her gold dress flashing as she moved. She gripped my hands, a wide smile on her face. “I’m so glad I found you!” 

“Kiyoko, how are you doing!” 

“Good! This is hella fun!” Her usually reserved way of being had been completely overturned, probably by alcohol. 

“I know right? Hey, have you seen Oikawa?” 

Kiyoko’s glasses flashed. “Oh my god, yeah actually! He was just looking for you!” “Really? Which way did he go?” 

She pointed, and I hugged her tightly. “Thanks! I’ll try and find you later, ok?”

She nodded, and I moved in the direction she had indicated. “Gas Pedal” by Sage the Gemini came on, and I laughed out loud as girls all around me began shaking their asses. 

I pushed past a line of four people grinding on each other, and my heart leapt as I finally found Oikawa. He had ditched his jacket somewhere, and his hair was pushed back and messy as he danced. Iwaizumi and Kiyoko had said he was looking for me but…

I felt all the blood drain from my face as I watched a tall, skinny girl with long black hair wrap her arms around his neck, one of her hands trailing down his chest. He smirked down at her, eyes dark and greedy, and I took a step back. I suddenly felt cold stone sober, and my hands began to shake. 

 As I watched, unable to tear my eyes away, as the girl turned around and began grinding her ass against Oikawa, and he grabbed her hips. 

The music pounded through my brain and I finally forced myself to move. Whirling around, I almost fell as I crashed into another person. 

“Oh-sorry,” I gasped, looking up and blinking in surprise. 

“Hello again.” The guy from the beach, with the serious expression and olive hair looked down at me. “Are you ok?” I swallowed, forcing back tears as I focused on the guy in front of me. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry, I think we’ve met but I don’t remember your name.” 

“It’s Wakatoshi Ushijima.” 

“Right! I’m Y/n L/n. It’s good to see you again, Ushijima.” 

He nodded, eyes sweeping down my short dress, and he tilted his head. “Do you want to get out of this crowd?” 

I paused, feeling something in my chest tighten. No, I wanted to turn around and smack the girl Oikawa was with in the face. I wanted to shake my captain and ask him why didn’t he look at me like that? 

But there was another attractive guy right in front of me, and he was looking at me with a slightly glazed expression. I smiled up at him through my lashes, licking my lips and nodding. “Let’s go.” Ushijima’s hand was fucking gigantic as I pulled him through the crowd, keeping my head down so hopefully no one I knew would recognize me. 

I noticed Iwaizumi by the wall where I left him, and I walked by quickly, praying he didn’t see me with Ushijima. I told myself it didn’t matter even if he did; I was allowed to have as much fun as I wanted. I had no obligations to anyone. 

It didn’t take very long to find a hallway away from the party where no one was, and I glanced up at Ushijima. He stared down at me, his eyes intense, and I leaned toward him, my hands going to his chest. 

The second I moved, his broad hands wrapped around my waist and pushed me up against the wall. I gasped as his mouth crashed against mine, and I squeezed my eyes shut, hands running through his hair. I shoved all thoughts of Oikawa from my mind and let myself get swept away. 

Oikawa POV:

I moved through the crowd of people, eyes scanning for Y/n. I hadn’t seen her in awhile, and I was suddenly worried. 

The tall girl with the black hair tugged on my arm. “Baby, I’m not done with you,” she purred. 

I gave her a death glare, tugging out of her grip. “Fuck off, that was a mistake. I’m looking for someone right now.”

She pouted, but I was already moving away. I spotted Iwa by the wall, and sauntered over to him. “Iwa-chan! You don’t look like you’re having much fun--” “Oikawa, did Y/n find you?” He said, eyes serious. 

“Huh? No, I was looking for her…” “She came up here asking about you, so I pointed her in the right direction.” “I haven’t seen her, but she’s probably around here somewhere.”  I could see clearly something else was on his mind. “What’s wrong?” 

“She walked by just a second ago. She looked upset and....she was with Ushijima.” 

I felt my stomach drop. Oh god no. 

“Which way did they go?” I said, by voice completely blank of emotion. 

Iwaizumi pointed, and I began to move quickly, shoving people out of the way in my haste. 

I ran down a hallway, turning the corner and feeling my entire body go completely numb as I finally spotted her.  

She was pushed up against the wall, hands running through his hair as she kissed fucking Ushijima. The tall ace of Shiritorizawa had one hand on her waist, the other running along her ass as he let out a low groan. 

I moved without thinking, so angry I could barely see. I ripped Ushijima off of Y/n, shoving him as hard as I could, so he stumbled backward. He was bigger and stronger than me, but I had the element of surprise. While he was still off balance, I charged him, knocking him on his back and punching him as hard as I could in the face. He grunted, and I felt something crack under my knuckles. 

Y/n was screaming behind me, trying to pull me off, but it just made me more furious. Was she trying to defend him? 

Ushijima was attempting to cover his face, but I began to slam his head into the floor over and over. 

“Stop Oikawa, you’re going to kill him!!!” I felt a pair of strong arms grab me around the neck in a chokehold, dragging me off of Ushijima and throwing me against the wall. Iwaizumi pounded me on the chest, his eyes furious. “Look what you’re doing, Shittykawa! You’re scaring her.” 

My eyes moved to Y/n, her eyes filled with tears and her hands over her mouth in horror. Ushijima lay on the ground a few feet away, face covered in blood. All I could see was him kissing her. 

Iwaizumi let go of me, and I slammed my fist into the wall as hard as I could, feeling my skin tear and knuckles crack. Y/n let out a sob, and I turned and strode away down the hall. I was too angry to be here anymore. 

As I walked away, I heard Iwaizumi behind me. “I’ll take care of Ushiwaka. You go stop Oikawa before he does something else completely stupid.” 

Y/n POV: 

What had I done? Ushijima lay on the ground, his face completely fucked up, and Oikawa stalked away down the hall, blood dripping from his knuckles. It was utterly my fault. 

I was terrified, but not of Oikawa. No matter how angry he was, I didn’t think he would do anything to hurt me. I decided not to second guess that assumption as I spirited down the hall after him. Now was not the time to be afraid. 

“Oikawa!” I yelled, but he didn’t pause. “Oikawa, stop!” I grabbed his wrist, and he whirled around, eyes furious. 

“Get the fuck off me,” he snarled. 

“No! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“With me?” His eyes were wild as he raked his hands violently through his hair. “You’re the one who was about to fuck Ushijima!” 

I gaped at him. “I wasn’t...wait, you know him?”

“He’s the captain of Shiratorizawa!” He yelled and I felt my stomach drop. Oh god, I didn’t know…

“I-I didn’t--” “Who gives a fuck! Who it was doesn’t matter anyway!” “Then why do you care so much if I kissed him?” I shouted, clenching my fists. “You don’t give a fuck about me, so why the hell did you have to beat the shit out of him if it wasn’t because of who he is?”

“I don’t give a fuck about you?” Rage was boiling beneath every word. 

“No! Go back to that dumb bitch you were with before if you want to feel better about youself!” 

“What the fuck are you even talking about?” He snarled. Realization suddenly dawned in his eyes, almost instantly replaced with fury. “Maybe I will! Even she’s not as much of a whore as you.” 

I felt like I had been slapped. A whore? That’s what he thought of me? Tears pricked behind my eyes. “You fucking asshole.” I stepped back. “You act like you’re better than everyone all the time, like you’re so perfect, but really you’re just a piece of shit!” 

“God, you couldn’t possibly be any worse,” he hissed, eyes dark. 

Tears spilled over my cheeks, and took another step back. “I-I am done with you. Stay the fuck out of my life.” 

I whirled around, not looking back as I ran down the hall. 

The rest of the night passed in a blur. I somehow found Kiyoko and Daichi, but I was crying too hard to explain exactly what had happened. Apparently, Karasuno had been about to leave anyway, so I left with an entourage of tall, angry boys surrounding me like bodyguards. Yamaguchi held my hand tightly, and Kageyama looked like he was about to murder whoever had made me cry. 

I noticed Suga talking to Iwa as we left, and an ambulance pulled up in front of the club. Hopefully Ushijima was ok. I couldn’t find it in myself to care very much. 

Asahi drove Kiyoko, Tsukki, Yamaguchi, Tanaka, Nishinoya and I home, but I was silent the whole ride back, entering some form of shock. 

Kiyoko walked me up to my house when we got dropped off, holding my hand so tightly it hurt. “Y/n, Suga told me what happened. Breathe ok? I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.” 

I felt my body begin to shake. “K-Kiyoko...I think I just…” I clamped a hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t throw up. “I think I just completely ruined my friendship with the guy I’m in love with.” 

My friend looked momentarily shocked, but she began to shake her head. “No, no, that’s not true, Y/n-chan. He’ll forgive you.” 

“No,” I began to sob. “He thinks I’m some sort of horrible slut. Oh god, he hates me.” 

Kiyoko hugged me tightly, quickly opening the door to my house and pulling me inside. “Ok, ok, it’s ok just get it out.” 

She led me upstairs, helping me strip out of my party clothes, washing off my face and gently brushing out my hair. For once, I was happy that my parents were so busy most nights. 

 It was 4 in the morning by the time she ushered me into my bed, curling up next to me and hugging my tightly. I fell asleep to her murmuring in my ear, but I couldn’t help but think how much better it would feel if Oikawa was there instead. 

Chapter 11

[angelic-holland]

All Too Well ☼ 1

Missed Alarms & Maple Lattes

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x fem!reader

Warnings: anxious first meeting & flirtations

Word Count: 2.8k

Y/N accepted a job on the props team for a small rom-com never expecting her life to change completely because of a boy with blue eyes and a bright smile. But as autumn turned to winter, she found herself embracing her vulnerabilities and hoping her love didn’t end when the movie wrapped.

masterlist ☼ taglist

A/N: thanks for the kind words over the prologue! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far and would love to know what you think of this chapter as well!

☼ ☼ ☼ 

Six Months Earlier...

“Rex, you’re hardly my boss. I’m saying that in the nicest way possible,” you grunted when hot glue burnt your finger.

“Well, if one of us doesn’t haul ass over to Harrison’s trailer to wake him up, we’re both fired. You know how shit I am at driving.” He gestured to the hot glue gun you had clutched in one hand, the other shaking to relieve the sting of the burn.

“Fine. Only because I don’t want you to crash my car.”

“Too cheap to pay assistants so they treat the interns like ones,” he grumbled, taking the glue gun from you.

“All I want is a real job after this one,” you huffed, digging your key chain out of your pocket.

“Don’t we all,” Rex echoed. 

You began to head out of the set, a log cabin snuggled inside a few acres of forest. 

“Hey! Hey!” 

You turned, raising an eyebrow at the curly haired blonde girl perched on a directors chair.

Kat Newton. She’s drop dead gorgeous. Her curly hair swept up into a high ponytail. The “no makeup” makeup look for the first scene of the movie being filmed made her look like she just woke up in the most elegant way possible. To say you had a crush on her was an understatement. 

“Hi, Kat, what’s up?” You came to a halt in front of her chair.

“Harrison’s coffee. He’ll need it if he woke up late.” She held out a cup of lukewarm coffee, and you took it with a smile, nervously looking away when your fingers brushed.

“Thanks. I’ll pass it along to him.” You raised the cup before turning and jogging out the door.

The coffee smelled amazing as it jostled in your hand.

It reminded you of a little breakfast bar you visited with Rex before the all day script reading. Chocolate chip pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup. 

Unlocking your car, you slid into the beat up Subaru, passed down from your uncle to you, it’s definitely seen better days.

The cloth seats had so many stains from your adventures on different film sets with Rex.

Coffee when an entire box of Joe broke in your passenger seat. Some type of sauce from a local Vietnamese restaurant. A burn from when Rex almost set your car on fire with a joint and blowtorch. 

You smiled at all the memories from the past few years as you started the car, pulling out of the parking area by the cabin.

It was cold, like you were well warned about before taking the position.

Ludlow, Vermont was a small town where the director owned a beautiful log cabin, apparently where he wanted to film most of the romantic comedy. 

But it was freezing. You wanted to get the heat fixed before making the drive so when you had to make the twenty minute drive to and from to your trailer every day you wouldn’t turn into an icicle, but chances of that were low. Especially with your pay. 

Instead, you opted for mittens and hand warmers at the end of August. Driving out of the parking area you began your venture down the barely there driveway that led to the poorly paved highway cutting through town. 

You drove for about five minutes before you spotted him, dark blond hair sweaty and matted to his forehead, running like he was in a marathon down the side of the road.

“Harrison?” You shouted, rolling down the drivers side window. The dark blond haired boy glanced over at you as you slowed your car to meet him on the side of the road.

“Harrison Osterfield?” You shouted once more, almost certain it was him.

He came to a halt, taking heaving breath with both hands on his knees. 

“I’m sorry, Uh, if you’re a fan, I can’t really stop to take pictures. You see I-,”

You barked out a laugh, the entire sentiment quite hysterical to you.

You haven’t really worked directly with celebrities before, but you didn’t quite expect that reaction.

He looked at you slightly bewildered as you put your car in park next to him.

“What?”

“I just-,” you paused and slapped your hand over your mouth in a sad attempt to suppress your giggles.

“What’s so funny?” He asked, jogging over to your window. He had to practically bend in half to make eye contact with you, eyes searching for any recognition of who you might be.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Props assistant for Love Me Not. I was sent to pick your sleepy ass up.”

“Really?” He nearly screeched eyes lighting up when you nodded.

“You know, I’ve been late to a lot of things in my life. But never the first scene of my own damn movie,” you huffed, unlocking the doors. “Get in.”

He jogged to the other side of your car, wiping the sweat from his forehead before clambering inside. His legs nearly didn’t fit in the space between the dashboard and his seat, cramped and shoved up to his chest.

He awkwardly rubbed his palms on the fabric of his sweatpants while he stared at him expectantly.

“Buckle your seatbelt?” 

“Oh shit! Yeah, yeah,” he swore, quickly buckling his seatbelt before anxiously tapping his knees.

“Oh yeah, uh this was for you.” You tilted your head toward the coffee cup in the cup holder of your center console.

“Was?” He asked hesitantly while you began to make a u-turn in the middle of the road.

“I may have drank some.” 

“May?” 

You both looked at the red lipstick stain on the cup and then you followed his gaze to your lips.

You ignored the heat you felt and quickly centered your stare back on the road.

“Just my compensation for driving to pick your sleepy ass up.”

“I feel like my sleepy ass should have coffee.”

“Maybe if you were on time you’d have it. Here, there’s probably about half left anyway.” Handing him the coffee, you shivered when his fingers touched yours. 

“Cold?” He asked, he watched the goosebumps raise on your arms before retreating his hand.

You gulped, nodding while your hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Here.” He leaned forward, about to turn on the heat.

“Wait!” You screeched, smacking his hand. Too late. 

Tammy, your car, shuddered to a stop in the middle of the road when Harrison pushed the button for heat.

“What just happened?” Harrison asked while you took your keys out of the ignition.

“Tammy here does not like when heat or AC is used. So we need to give her a moment.”

He looked at you skeptically, which was totally understandable. He probably has never been in a car that crapped out when you try to use the center console buttons.

“Sorry, I love Tammy.” You patted the dashboard lovingly. “But she’s basically a grandma. Can’t quite multitask anymore.”

“So we’re stuck? Shit.” 

“Well,” you tsked, rolling your eyes at the movie star next to you.

“I know, I know. If I woke up to my damn alarm I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Enjoying a lukewarm cup of coffee in a stalled car in the middle of the road with a glorified assistant?” You asked in a teasing tone.

You couldn’t blame his frustration as he scowled at you. But he looked as harmless as a bumblebee.

“You’re adorable,” you said without thinking, quickly focusing back on Tammy when you felt his stare on you.

“I was going to say I wouldn’t be getting to know a pretty girl and her shit car.”

“Hey!” You scolded him, playfully smacking his arm. “Don’t say things like that. Tammy might hear and retaliate.”

“Is Tammy jealous?”

You rolled your eyes at his question before attempting to start the car.

“Call Tammy pretty. It might do the trick.”

Harrison laid a hand on the dash and you caught a glimpse of chipped blue and yellow nails.

“Oh Tammy, I know I was complimentin’ the driver here earlier. But you are also a very pretty girl. Beautiful even. You know that coat of paint on ya is almost the same shade as my eyes.”

As if Tammy was blushing, the moment Harrison finished complimenting her and you turned the keys once more, she roared to life.

“Hey! Nice!” Harrison laughed, leaning his head against the cool glass of the window. 

“She just needed a little love is all. Hey, you look like the one who’s cold, trying to run all the way to the cabin. Here.” You stepped on the brake before turning to rummage through the backseat.

Grabbing your red scarf, you tossed it at the boy next to you.

“What’s this for?” 

“To warm you up. I don’t want them to accuse me of giving the star frostbite.”

“I’ll make sure after they cut my frozen toes and fingers off you tried everything you could.”

You huffed out a laugh as he wrapped your scarf around his neck, burying his hands and face in the material.

“What?” He whined, his voice raising in pitch. “It’s cold.”

“I know, silly. That’s what the scarf is for. Anyway, I’m pretty sure Ryan is going to be pissed when we get back so prepare for that.”

“Oh, I’m used to scornful directors. Don’t worry too much about me.”

“If you say so.” You shrugged, pulling back into the parking area.

“Thank you, by the way,” Harrison said when you parked the car. He began to take off your scarf when your hand came up to rest on his.

The warmth from his hand sent a shiver down your spine, the contrast between your cold palm was dizzying. 

“Keep it. Stay warm while you’re getting lectured about waking up on time or whatever.”

“Okay, yeah, uhm, bye then.” 

He took off out of your car before you could respond, running wildly toward the cabin with your red scarf wrapped snugly around his neck and billowing behind him with his strides. 

***

“Harrison! Over here!” 

You watched with Rex as Kat and an older man who could’ve been about a dozen people on set waved at Harrison from across the food tent.

“What is the blue eyed arrogant asshole doing coming our way?” Rex asked, echoing the joke you made earlier.

“No idea.” You shrugged. “Maybe to make me pay him back for the half a coffee I drank.”

Before you could distract yourself by pushing food around on your plate or making a snide remark to Rex about his peanut butter and tomato sandwich, Harrison sat down across from you.

“Uh, hi?” You phrased it as a question, head turning between Kat, Harrison, and Rex.

“Mind if I sit here or are you two-, oh.” Harrison’s voice dropped off when he saw how close you and Rex were sitting.

Rex snorted, his sandwich landing all over the table as he choked.

“Oh fuck you, Mr. ‘I’d date you if we were high school theatre nerds’. Pretentious motherfucker.”

Harrison looked between the two of you, both laughing to the point of doubling over.

“Okay Miss ‘I only make out with you when I’m drunk’.”

“Hey!” You smacked Rex’s arm again, inching your body away from his. You didn’t have a good response, or at least one that wouldn’t make this airy conversation turn a little too psychological after a full day of filming.

The truth was, casual was never something you could do. Meaningless hook-ups were simply not in your vocabulary.

So of course when you’re craving that physical affection but don’t have the emotional intimacy you need, you turned to your best friend.

“Sit, please. If only to make it so I’m not alone with this jerk.” You playfully shoved Rex’s shoulder before taking another sip of your coffee.

“How was the rest of the shoot this afternoon?” You queried once Harrison settled down.

He shrugged, picking over his food the same as you.

“It was okay. Willow wants me to do some work on my character without ‘taking it home with me’.” He said the last bit in frustrated quotations, angrily stabbing a piece of pasta with his plastic fork.

“You can do that, you know. Method acting usually doesn’t work too well from what I’ve experienced.”

“Y/N you acted twice. Once for fifteen minutes in a shitty one act that I wrote. And-,”

You cut Rex off. “And once as Wendla because the actress who was playing her dropped the second to last week before tech. I was her understudy.”

“Yeah, and I was Melchior,” Rex finished, a smug smile on his face.

“So as you can see. Not method acting is how I got through that show with this one.” You pointed the back end of your fork at Rex who doubled back in fake shock. 

“Maybe the two of you can help me, then?” Harrison asked hopefully, his blue eyes twinkling with the desire to learn. 

Rex barked out a laugh before you smacked him. “Sorry. I don’t get paid enough for that. Plus I could never do as good a job as Y/N could.”

“Only for the ego boost of being a makeshift acting coach for a famous actor.”

Rex couldn’t make another joke before one of the hair and makeup people interrupted you. 

“Harrison? You’re needed in hair and makeup for reset now.”

He grumbled for a moment, looking at his hardly eaten plate of food. “Can I bring this?” 

“Let’s eat and walk,” she said, ushering him up from his seat.

Harrison was swept off with a shy and awkward wave back at you. 

“You’re crushing on that blond haired, blue-eyed beauty, aren’t you?”

“Stop talking like you’re in a Disney show and eat your food.” Your tone, although you didn’t mean for it to be harsh, came off slightly cranky.

Rex ceased the conversation, pushing around the food on his plate while you angrily stabbed at the salad on your plate with your plastic fork. 

“Y/N!” 

The man standing with Kat earlier grabbed your attention as you and Rex had quickly made up and finished your food.

“Uh, hi?” You asked hesitantly, moving Rex along with your eyes and a quick nod.

“Dean Willow. Acting coach. You’re Harrison’s assistant, correct?” 

Rex snickered when you shook your head.

“what are you then?” He asked as you shifted from foot to foot awkwardly.

“Uh, part of the props team. Like assistant to the assistant to the assistant to the props designer. I just have my list of props for each scene and make them look nice.”

“And you went to school for this?” He asked, not so much condescending as curious.

“I did theatre tech and acting as a minor. Just wasn’t my thing.”

“I couldn’t help but overhear what you and- who was it? The guy with the weird name?” 

“Rex.”

“Right. Rex. Talking with Harrison about Meisner. I know he was saying he didn’t think it helped but you sort of talked through how it made sense to you and how it worked for your production of- what show was it?”

“Spring Awakening. Lots of eye contact, lots of chemistry work with people you might not normally have intimacy with.”

The Meisner technique wasn’t the best for every actor nor did it help with every production or scene. But it was useful when it needed to be and you much preferred it over other acting techniques.

“I want you to work with him.”

“Isn’t that your job?” 

He laughed, “normally yes. Kat would do the technique with him and they’d work together to form that bond. But as you know she has to work with two leads so splitting her time between the two of them is difficult. We were discussing having someone he already has chemistry with helping ease him into the technique while she works with Jacob.”

You flushed at his comment before straightening up.

“Chemistry?”

“His body language said it all. From when he walked onto set this morning relaxed by your side. He’s calm around you. Not jumpy. I think he’s a terrific actor but an anxious boy. He’s not anxious around you.”

“I’ve known him for like a few hours.”

“And?” Dean asked, as if that meant nothing to him.

“Would I really be the best person to help?”

Dean nodded in understanding, running a hand through his grey and thinning hair. “I’ll make a deal with you. Next movie I’m doing is huge. Bigger than this rom-com. It’s in Hollywood, we need an assistant to the props master. You help me, the job’s yours.”

“I already offered to help him. You don’t need to bribe me.”

“Ah, but I know this extra motivation will make sure you put in your best work.”

You looked back toward the door and Rex, who was leaning against the wall and watching you with a ridiculous smirk.

“Okay. Fine. But I’m leaving. I’ve got a billion and a half years of sleep to catch up on.”

Willow chuckled, nodding understandably. “Let me know if you have any questions. Kat is also a great resource to bounce ideas off of.”

***

Just as you were about to roll over and bug Rex about getting drunk instead of sleeping, your phone buzzed.

Meet me in my trailer? - the blue eyed asshole

***

Taglist: @ifilosemyselfagain​ // @youremusicinme​ // @tombob2005​ // @hazmyheart​ // @softholand​ // @seredipitous-amor // @buckybilal // @calhtlland // @sunshinepeterparkr // @viagracex​// @thenoddingbunny-blog​ // @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ 

[northelypark]

Tagged by @101flavoursofweird (thank you!!) Tagging @chyouxart and @dappledwrites 

Answers under the cut!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Eight. Mostly Lamplight Letters related stuff. I want to eventually branch out and write about other PL characters, but there’s so many ideas I still want to explore with Clive, Amelia, Gemma, and Bernard, so... expect mostly them for the indefinite future.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 

59,512

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Rayman, Professor Layton, and I once wrote a High School Musical/Kingdom Hearts crossover as a teen wherein I shipped Ryan Evans and Aerith and I wish I still had it so I could laugh at it. 

In the past, I’ve written mostly original stuff. It takes a really special fandom to hit that sweet spot of me being totally obsessed with it and feeling like there’s room to explore and expand on characters or ideas. 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lamplight Letters (22) - My current big project. Amelia and Clive solve mysteries at a boarding school together.

 Awakening (7) - The first of an ongoing series that explores an AU where Clive is turned into a vampire and inadvertently finds himself out of prison and in a London very different than the ones he remembers. 

Queen of Spades and Spoons tied for third (6) - Both Climelia fluff/angst so this makes me happy they’ve gotten a few kudos

Traces of Glitter and Taxonomy tied for fourth (5) - Both Gemma stories. I need to write more happy fluff for her, she deserves it. 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, and I’m trying to be better about responding quickly, now that I’m more involved in the fandom again. I had about a two year hiatus where I was figuring a lot of stuff out and it took me months to respond to comments. I’m going to try to keep up with them better, as best I can, because I really do appreciate everyone who takes the time to comment on my stuff. I never expected anyone to enjoy fics involving my OCs or my niche pairing in an equally niche fandom, but it means a lot to me and always makes my day when I see a new comment. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Awakening. I don’t want to spoil it, just in case anyone reading this wants to check it out, but Clive has an all around bad time. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet 👀 Though I am forever amused by the hate Clive/Amelia received on a Layton confessions blog a few years back. As one of the only people making content for the ship I guess that can be construed as hate toward my fics lolol. I’m just flattered I managed to produce enough content of them for someone to get angry.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, but nothing I’ve published. Maybe someday, if I ever feel confident and comfortable enough. Just older Climelia things. But I’d rather explore the story of how they slowly reconnect as adults before I dive into anything spicy lol. I feel like that’s something I have to earn. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I would be kind of flattered I guess, because of how niche my stuff is. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but definitely impressed by those who take the time to translate fics.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and probably never will. Writing is challenging enough without adding collaboration to the mix. The closest I’ve come is the back and forth head-canons and drabbles me and my gf @chyouxart send each other. 

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Clive/Amelia. Don’t ask me how an obscure rare-pair grew to be my OTP. It started out with loving both characters and also thinking they’d have good chemistry and things building from there. I liked the challenge of writing a backstory for them and having to create their relationship from scratch.

I’m a sucker for the dynamic of too very cold, very proud people slowly opening up and becoming warm and soft towards each other through rocky, slow-burn friendship. And rivalry banter that turns into flirting. And both having difficult pasts that have eroded their trust and slowly learning to mend it through the things they go through together. And of course the angst that comes with Clive’s eventual decisions and what might happen to their relationship after that. Climelia is my tailor-made ship. It also has big sentimental value, because it’s the ship that allowed me to safely explore a lot of things I didn’t fully realize about myself and further connect with my now gf @chyouxart so it means a lot to me. 

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Lamplight Letters T_T I guess I should amend this question to I hope I’ll be able to finish it. I’ve just been working on it for so long, and now that I’m re-writing a lot of it, it’s going to take even longer. It’s been a bit discouraging, but also I feel a lot better about the early chapters and it is satisfying to see how my writing has improved. I just hope to one day complete it and be able to turn my attention to other big projects, even if that day is still far off. 

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m pretty good at writing descriptions, especially for locations? I’m also always pretty proud of my metaphors and similes, though I’m trying to learn to use them more sparingly.  I’m a lot more confident in my internal monologues now after writing so many for Amelia.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Not something I’ve attempted yet, and if I did, I’d want to make sure I did my research and would be able to portray other languages respectively and authentically. It can add a lot to a character if done well, if done poorly it just comes off as a gross caricature. 

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Rayman. I was obsessed with the original PS1 game and created an entire expanded universe for it.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Lamplight Letters will always be my baby. I love it. I hate it. I could spend the rest of my life working on it. I want to throw it into space. I wrote the first chapter on a bored whim and it quickly grew into the most ambitious writing project I’ve ever worked on. Definitely served as a writing boot camp for me and I feel like I’ve grown a lot through it, including meeting some amazing people in the fandom. 

[vagrantblvrd]

Hmmmmm for the not!fic prompts, how about some soft FAHC Jack/Geoff at the end of the world? Could be immortals au or just whatever, I'm just in the mood for soft 💛 (p.s. you're amazing)

Oooh, okay.

SO.

I love this so much and have a few ~scenarios for it.

First is to do with the Sky Factory AU where they’re all gods creating worlds (that Ryan tends to have a hand in destroying at some point because wow, okay, guy just cannot help himself) before moving on?

Maybe they go back to visit a world they created together way back when, when they were just as young and stupid as the others are. (Before meeting Ryan and the rest of their unruly and unpredictable pantheon, and one they definitely told said pantheon to never set foot near or there would be consequences, okay.)

This world whose people have been allowed to learn and grown on their own once Geoff and Jack left to create other worlds, nurture life along until they weren’t needed any longer.

Civilizations have risen and fallen along with various religions and the like and when they hear the world itself it dying they go back to see what happened after the left.

The people who lived there are either dying out (have died out) or reached a level of technology to leave their world for a new home among the stars and so on, leaving traces of themselves behind on their journey and very epic to be sure, right?

But Geoff and Jack, they’re more interested in the world itself, the histories left behind that they manage to learn (because gods and the whatnot) and there’s pride and sadness, regret that perhaps they didn’t give the people they left behind enough guidance Maybe they were mistaken in leaving at all, could have stayed and nudged the people in the right direction if they happened to stray towards dangerous and/or ill-advised actions, but!

There are these rules for beings like them, right? Things about free will and the whatnot and how others like them went too far in nurturing the lives that sprang up on the worlds they created, became terrible monsters and whose worlds met even worse fates and it’s all murky and unknowable and never any “right answers” when bias and the whatnot come into play.

SO.

They watch over the world as it breathes its last, this place where beautiful and terrible things happened. Where they themselves lived and learned for a time and helped form them into who they are now. (Along with the others worlds they’ve created, the idiots they’ve taken on as family and so on.)

And.

Wander the land for a while, point out things they bickered and bantered and full-out argued over – how deep that ocean should be, how high that mountain range. How dry the plains in the summer months and a million, billion other little things that add up to an entire world over time.

Pluck up a small stone – so very small, but worn smooth over the years – eons – and tuck it away because this was one of their first worlds and flawed as it may seem in comparison to those they’ve created since it holds a great amount of sentiment for them, you know?

And maybe, definitely, they stop under the branches of an old, old tree. One of the first Jack ever created, run their hands over the rough back and hear the stories its heard over the years. Lovers and friends taking shelter there when it rained, or resting in the shade on a warm summer day.

Watch the rain falling now, the last this world will see before it ends and lean on one another because this world has seen so much, hasn’t it? Endured so long and all that, and now it’s time has come and they’re there to witness it, and just.

Yes.

Like, idk, your prompt is super amazing and so bittersweet to me, because wow yes, but also, also, okay.

As to the immortal AU (no gods in sight, just like, because reasons kind of dealio) and the same basic kind of scenario?

The two of them being around for centuries, living through who even knows how many of those – claim they lost count along the way but you know they know how long they’ve been alive, of course they do.

Still.

Born who knows when and lived through centuries, millennium even, and the world is finally dying and technology is to the point humanity left (is leaving) for a new home elsewhere.

The others have gone on ahead, but Geoff and Jack wanted a little longer to say goodbye to the world they’ve known for so long? (Only one, really, but technicalities and the whatnot.)

They go on a road trip of sorts, best they can, given how time fuzzes up memories especially for those as long-lived as them.

The spot where they were born, grew up the first few years. Where they lived (and died, because going with the immortals who can be “killed” but it doesn’t stick kind of AU).

First place they died, and share stories as they go. (All the while the planet is dying around them, storm-dark skies and raging winds and such and just Very Drama.)

First loves and everything they’ve told one another over the years – where they met for the first time, where they found out the other was an immortal for the first time, and wow would that have been a doozy.

Violent death, perhaps, or maybe just an accident and the shock of running into them not too long afterwards, or maybe even years, decades later and the :O moment.

Geoff absolutely trying to pass himself off as the great-however many times-grandson of himself to Jack. (Whether he knew didn’t immediately recognize Jack at first, thought something was weird because that’s totally that guy he met however many years ago, but cover story first!!1!, or just ~panicked and cover-storied even though he knew Jack wasn’t buying it and oh, hey, is he like Geoff???)

Place where they had their first real Argument, one that caused a rift between them that lasted for fifty years or more before some series of events brought them back together.

Mutual Pining that lasted for (at least) another fifty years before someone told them to get their shit together as it was painful to watch and seriously you two, seriously.

And, like.

Everything since then.

World-changing events that separated them for years – a few or too many, it doesn’t matter because any amount of time was too long even for people like them – and times where they just.

Needed time apart because forever is a bit. Yeah, you know? Sometimes it’s nice to have time apart and when they met up again however long afterwards was lovely.

Where they met the others, one by one or in groups and the chaos that followed. (Times that were never, ever boring, and even is occasionally headache inducing, because yes.)

And, like.

I kind of love the idea of everyone as “normal” immortals?

But also, also?

This thing where people become immortal over time?

Like.

I don’t even know how/why, but this reincarnation bit where they live normal lives over and over again until they’ve somehow earned a chance at immortality?

A whole Thing as to how that would work, but omg, yes?

Good deeds/karma they’d have to do/earn and a reward of immortality/godhood??? ( – or the inverse where it’s a punishment, chance for them to atone for what they’ve done in past lives, idk.

Whichever it is, Geoff and Jack are the oldest and have been around for a while, and then they meet all these little assholes.

Have to watch them die, which – yikes, regarding the angstiness and all? But then however many years later run into them again, and they're just like, oh, and realize there’s a reason they met them at all, you know?

And the cycle repeats until the others gain their immortality and it’s like.

Reward or punishment, but they’re not the only ones like them out there anymore, you know? And while they’re not always together – reasons and the whatnot where one or more of the others take off for a while – they’re all connected and, just. Yes.

(Seriously, I love immortal AUs but wow do they give me FEELS.)

And like.

Okay, immortal Geoff and Jack being all Sentimental about the end of the world, but knowing their family is out there waiting for them to get their shit together before they go off to shenanigate somewhere else for a while.

If they did a stint as a crew of notorious criminals in this Los Santos place for a while, maybe they decide to try their hand at being space pirates for a while, or idk. Just a bunch of assholes in space because reasons and I’ve totally lost the thread here, but yes. XD

ALSO.

In all of these scenarios there’s the bit where they lean against one another, heads on shoulders and holding hands and st least one (1) smooch.

Also a lot of assholishness, because Geoff and Jack, but tempered by this centuries long love of theirs that’s managed to outlive at least one (1) world, and stands to keep on going for a good while longer.

[aviewfromtheclouds25]

Tell me your other theories on his return. I’m intrigued if you say it all fits together.

What’s you feelings on a reunion in the future? How would it happen?

Oh don’t be intrigued haha! That was really just in terms of the Luke aspect (because he has to have a bigger purpose, because otherwise his introduction and role in this storyline is such an utterly perplexing choice even for the current state of ED) and the timeframe, in that I expect Luke to have some knowledge which he’ll reveal eventually - not any time soon, because Aaron needs to spiral (and breakdown please) and he can’t even start that until he stops suppressing his feelings and distracting himself with Cain’s drama etc (all the while Vic and Luke will be progressing I imagine) - and this could help to change Robert’s sentence from murder to manslaughter, or even the original GBH with intent, and therefore shorten his sentence. So with time served, Robert could be out a fair bit sooner (how much, I don’t know) than the 14 years he was given… Which just helps me reaffirm to myself that half the reason they gave Robert the longer sentence in the first place (aside from the plot of tearing him away from Aaron obviously) is because ED are prepared to wait a few years to see if Ryan wants to return. With the potential of being able to change the charge and sentence, it means their options are relatively open for the time being to see how things develop both on and off screen. (If I’m wrong, just let me stay here please.)

I don’t have any fully-fledged theories yet, it’s a bit too soon for that! All I have at the mo are vague thoughts which aren’t that exciting… I’ve seen quite a bit of talk about “affair 2.0” but I have to admit I’m personally not interested in seeing that. Because 1) The drama and angst and intensity of the original affair just could never be emulated again, even by the very same and always amazing Ryan and Danny! 2) How would nobody pick up on it this time? 3) The whole point of everything that happened in 2017 and the creation of “Robron 2.0” was that their marriage has been built on far more solid foundations than those forged during their affair, and I would hate for all the progress they made together to be taken backwards. 4) It is madness to me that anyone could even contemplate that if Aaron is with another dude (if ahem), that he wouldn’t just drop him as quick as Alex the incompetent doc in that club. Regardless of whether he was prepared to take Robert back or not, if the love of his life has returned, I just don’t see any potential new guy sticking around. (Unless there’s a plot.) (I also say all of this in the hope that no new guy becomes serious or long-term.)

I’d like the reunion 3.0 to be dramatic and angsty, but at the same time I want it to be true to Robron and where they were in their life together before they were torn apart. I don’t know that I can really form any theories on what I expect to happen so soon after Robert’s gone (I love that he’s been gone a week and all we can all talk about is when he comes back haha), but I can offer you a vision of what I personally would quite like..? :P

So I have no clue on the timescale - I guess that depends on Ryan! :P I always thought Vic would be the natural choice (for the show, not me haha) to bring Robert home, but then @nooneelsecomesclose17’s post put the image of Jimmy greeting Robert outside that prison in my head and now I can’t unsee it (nor would I want to, it’s genius). So I’ve decided to tie that image to a long-held dream of mine…

So in this dream Aaron will have signed the divorce papers once he’s finished spiralling because we need wedding 3.0 obviously, but in his heart he still won’t have given up on being reunited with Robert some day. So I’d like him to spend much of the time Robert’s locked up doing things which remind him of Robert and help him feel closer to him - things like ripping people off, scamming them and trying to get his hands on Home Farm. Because my old dream which I think I’ve covered before (although probably just in my tags haha) was for Robron and the Kings to own Home Farm together; for it to become the hub of Home James once more, for the sheer comedy of having these two power couples and their chaotic families getting under each others’ feet, making it more relevant to the rest of the village than the house on the hill with its panto villains, and for it to actually become a home. So in terms of this new dream, I would have Aaron and Jimmy team up on this endeavour - and they’re actually the only ones left from that original portacabin quartet! So Aaron because he needs a goal and a focus and if it’s one in which he feels more connected to Robert then even better, and Jimmy because Nicola is always going to be up for improving their lot. I also quite like the idea of Aaron being able to do what Robert never could, and I have no idea who will be at Home Farm x amount of years down the line but if it was still the Tates (although could we at least get rid of Kim + co. and bring back Joe instead?) then I would be delighted to see the Kings take it all from them once more! :P

So I would have Aaron and Jimmy very close to achieving their goal by the time Robert is about to be released. And because Robert still hasn’t had any contact with his family and is nervous about how they’ll feel towards him, who does he contact? Jimmy! And Jimmy of course is a great oaf and would immediately let it slip to Aaron. And regardless of what’s passed, I think Aaron would have some understanding and empathy of how daunting and overwhelming it would be for Robert to return to the village after so long of complete isolation, from the world and from the people who are his world… So he and Jimmy would hatch a plan…

Cue Jimmy driving Robert back to the village, chewing his ear off or “pecking his head”, when they suddenly happen to “break down” in the lay-by… Robert would get out of the car to get away from Jimmy’s incessant talking and because it’s obviously a small confined space, but then he would realise where they actually were and become overwhelmed by that too - and since this is my dream world, they would treat us to another little montage of memories to come full circle from that too! :P Meanwhile, Jimmy would be “phoning for a mechanic” before joining Robert outside because he might be an oaf, but he cares… And then much quicker than it should be, Aaron of course turns up. So then he would step out of the car and we would get the delightful combination of intense Robron eye contact and a very obviously awkward Jimmy… And because it’s still my favourite thing, I would like a wordless embrace with alllll the emotions similar to when Aaron was released. At which point Jimmy would clumsily make himself scarce and drive off (in the vehicle which very obviously had not broken down, bless).

So then we’d be left with an awkward, tense Robron because neither of them know what happens next, only how good it feels to be even breathing the same air again… Perhaps at this stage Aaron would be in some kind of relationship (because he tried to convince himself he had to “move on” and because I might be able to accept it for a few weeks if I have the guarantee that Robert’s on his way home already :P), so we’d obviously get a conversation with a lot of callbacks and then Aaron would just dump that chestnut in there and we’d get something along the lines of; R: So why are you still here? A: You know. [But Robert doesn’t respond. Unsure of what Aaron is saying, he waits.] A: Because I love you, that’s why. I never stopped. And they can both be emotional, not knowing the next step, so Aaron could fill the silence with some quip about also needing to give Robert a lift home now Jimmy’s gone which Rob, bless him, wouldn’t even have noticed. And then Robert and I would both be left pondering what exactly Aaron means by “home”. But on the journey home, Robert will find his watch in the car (yeah, I’m really going with that old theme and sentiment of the cars here!)…

Beyond that I would have Aaron finish with this new dude and then for him to have a proper conversation with Robert about where they stand, once Robert’s started adjusting to the outside world again. And in this conversation we’d see that they’ve both been hardened by everything that’s happened since Robert went away, that Robert in particular has some issues he needs to work through before they even contemplate what the future might look like for them, but I’d want Aaron to tell Robert that line “I’ll wait for you. ‘Til you’re ready.“  And then I’d like them to embark on friendship…3.0?…with Aaron being supportive to Robert and helping him through the process of adjusting back into normality after x years of total isolation on that island. (The phrase "no man is an island” would definitely come into play with all of this, especially with Robert having cut all lines of communication.) And gradually they’d grow closer, and I’d be reliving the good old days of “It’s going to happen soon! It has to happen soon!” :P Meanwhile, Aaron and Jimmy would have one last big job to do to have the means to get Home Farm and naturally Aaron would have told Robert all about the scheme. So Robert would want in on this last stretch but Aaron would put his foot down, reminding Robert that if it all went wrong he’d end up back inside. But if Aaron’s getting mixed up with dodgy people and risking his life, there is absolutely no way Robert is going to listen to that of course. So he gets involved and the two of them help Jimmy escape before they themselves get stuck in some life-and-death situation and acknowledge that they absolutely cannot live without each other ever again. They both live, the dodgy people either get carted off to jail or die by their own ends (I have no specifics on the deadly situation, you know), and we get settled for wedding 3.0 and years more of Robron…

This is a ramble which serves absolutely no purpose except to distract me from the current Robert-less situation, so if you actually committed to reading all of this, I’m sorry haha!

[ryanmeft]

Ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Part 1

The culmination of the superhero ride that started with Iron Man back in 2008 is almost here. Avengers: Endgame tickets are selling out fast even though the movie is nearly three weeks away, and speculation as to how this stage of Marvel’s box office juggernaut will all end is at a fever pitch. What better time to rank the movies that have brought us here? Now, no one with even a tiny bit of objectivity sincerely believes Marvel had a ten year plan and executed it precisely according to a grand vision. Looking back through these movies makes it clearer than ever that, more often than not, they made it up as they went along. In fact, considering all the retcons, changed minds, dropped plot threads and unexpected surprises, it’s amazing the continuity holds together at all. It mostly does...but the bottom part of this list contains the few movies even Marvel’s PR team probably wishes they could have a mulligan on, as well as some good-but-not-quite-lighting-the-world-on-fire fare. Let’s get to it. Warning: this article contains spoilers for nearly every movie in the MCU.

21. Iron Man 2

The red-headed stepchild of the MCU. After the surprise success of the original Iron Man, Marvel Studios apparently forgot that the strength of that film was allowing Jon Favreau and the writing team to put heart before brand synergy, and decided to make a movie that was half marketing for their planned Avengers crossover. Dropping Black Widow in here felt completely jarring, and it didn’t help that her role just added to the jumble of plot threads that didn’t seem to add up to anything; at the time, many saw it as proof that Marvel was putting a little too much faith in their ability to pull off this whole crossover thing. That’s only part of the sordid story, though, because the movie is also a mess in nearly every other way. Rather than the tight plotting of the original, this one sees Tony, Rhodey, Pepper and the rest speeding from random situation to random situation---a car race, an unhinged party, a spy caper---with only the barest of plot threads holding it all together. The movie’s only saving graces are the villains played by Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke. Each of them deliciously devours every scene they are in, providing the film’s lone moments of enjoyment, but they’re also squandered on what feels like an extremely low stakes plan. Iron Man so well proved that superhero movies can have a soul that it even managed to make some critical best-of lists for 2008. The sequel made us wonder if that might have been a tad premature.

20. The Incredible Hulk

There are some genuinely creative moments in this action-oriented “apology” for the in-reality-pretty-good Ang Lee Hulk movie. The opening sequence showing how Hulk’s blood travels, a chase through a Brazilian favela, tossing Bruce out of a helicopter to incite his other half, and the almost-love scene aborted by the alter ego were signs of how clever the movie could have been if it were not focused on cramming in as much smashing as possible. Nick Nolte’s complex antagonist is replaced with William Hurt chewing a little too much scenery, the new super-villain played by Tim Roth is a dull waste of the actor’s talent, the finale is listless, and the entire movie is just one long excuse to show Hulk ‘roiding out as much as possible. The camera work of skilled action veteran Peter Menzies Jr. and some excellent CG on the title character make it more fun to look at than many of the tights flicks of the time, which is something. As a general rule, things that are made to chase fleeting audience sentiments don’t stand the test of time, and there’s been a quiet reversal since 2008 in which Lee’s more original and creative vision for the character has come to be re-evaluated, while this one has been almost forgotten and relegated to endless TNT re-runs. Maybe with Mark Ruffalo having one more movie on his contract, he’ll get a crack at doing it right post-Endgame.

19. Thor: The Dark World At the time, this movie served as iron-clad proof that the only reason the Thor character worked at all was Loki. The god of mischief is at his delicious then-best here, conniving from a prison cell, partnering with his brother out of genuine concern, and eventually managing to actually take the throne. Sure, that latter development was quickly undone in the next film, but what a parting shot. He’s the only aspect of the movie that fully works, and if you pop it in today you sit patiently waiting for his scenes and snoring through the second, Loki-free half of the movie. Thor himself is lifeless when Loki’s not on screen. The Warriors Three are still nowhere near the right balance of humor and bravery. Natalie Portman remains wasted on a supposedly genius scientist who can nevertheless be stunned into immediate silence by Thor’s golden locks, while Sif is still 100% unnecessary in every way. Perhaps worst of all, the underrated Christopher Eccleston is miscast as a villain who always seems to be doing bad Shakespeare. We all tried hard to forgive it at the time (and director Alan Taylor claims it was made “a different movie” in the editing room, not at all implausible) but thankfully we’ve since admitted this is mostly a misfire.

18. Ant-Man

If you were to judge Ant-Man entirely by the size-changing shenanigans, it would be one of the best Marvel movies. Peyton Reed, building off a script by departing director Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish (and tidied up by Rudd and Adam McKay) gets a ton of mileage out of the novelty of being the size of an insect, from outrunning a flood in a bathtub to that rather brilliant final confrontation in a child’s playroom, using toys as ammo. Further, Paul “I Am Immortal” Rudd is pitch-perfect in the title role, while Michael Douglas and Evangeline Lilly bring a lot to the picture. It’s in the details where Ant-Man falls a bit short (pun intended). To start, we have a single major Hispanic character in the MCU, played by the frankly more-legendary-than-you-think Michael Pena, and he’s reduced to a fast-talking stereotype. Judy Greer and Bobby Cannavale are also worlds better than their roles, which are, respectively, a cliche shrewish ex-wife and a cliche over-suspicious cop. What really drags things down, though, is the lackluster villain, who may be the most inert black hole in the MCU’s rogues gallery. He is neither good enough to engage us, nor bad enough to hate. He could have been played by a grip, for all the personality he’s allowed. The core of the film is delightful. The hill around it is crumbly.

17. Captain Marvel

Marvel’s first female-led flick is understandably a phenomenon, pulling down the sixth-largest opening weekend of all time and serving as inspiration to young girls and target to the kind of people who don’t want women in their clubhouse. So what about the movie that’s causing all this hullabaloo? It’s pretty decent. The movie can be summed up very succinctly as “safe”. It takes few chances and is more like one small step than one giant leap for womankind. Had it been released during the early superhero boom, it would still be fondly remembered as a major link in the genre’s evolution. As it is, it borrows from the buddy-cop subgenre to create what is essentially an adventure/sci-fi movie between Carol Danvers and Nick Fury. It stands out more as a callback to the kind of action pics made in the 90’s (when it is set) than the heavily marketed shared universe of the MCU, and includes standout performances from Annette Bening, Jude Law and Ben Mendelsohn. It meets expectations; it does not exceed them, and if you are a fan of the distinctive style practiced by directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, you won’t find it here. It’s only a month old, and it may be too soon to definitely say how it will be seen as time goes on. Right now, it feels more like a solid first step for the character than a fully realized final destination.

16. Thor

The original Thor has some completely solid, indisputable charms. Chris Hemsworth does physical comedy much more skillfully than he is ever given credit for, it is the debut of Tom Hiddleston as Loki, the third act is a rare-at-the-time case of inventiveness in an MCU finale, and it’s always great to see Stellan Skarsgard in literally anything. I would watch two hours of Stellan Skarsgard eating lunch, with a clone of Stellan Skarsgard. His drinking scene with Thor is a seriously underrated bit of awesome. It helps make up for the fact that the movie has no idea what to do with most of the supporting cast, including in part Loki, who at this stage seems to flail around between personalities, having crazy forced on him in time for the final duel despite it not even being hinted at earlier. It’s as if director Kenneth Branagh just let him do his own thing, and Hiddleston’s not 100% sure what that should be yet. The mirror scene is objectively amazing, but he won’t really come into his own until Avengers. The Warriors Three are utterly wasted; Branaugh and the writers just never nail the right combo of comedy and camaraderie needed to pull them off. Sif is superfluous. Natalie Portman is one of the finest actors of our generation, here reduced to goggling over Thor’s pecs. It’s not bad, especially compared to some of the dreck that gets pumped out of the blockbuster machine. It’s just rather inert.

That’s it for part 1. I’m  going to be doing some Marvel/Superhero/General Nerd content leading up to Endgame’s release. Check back next Friday for part 2 of this list, and pop by Monday for part 1 of my predictions on the fate of each character in Endgame. Part 2: https://ryanmeft.tumblr.com/post/184208179827/ranking-the-marvel-cinematic-universe-part-2 Part 3: https://ryanmeft.tumblr.com/post/184372777282/ranking-the-marvel-cinematic-universe-part-3

[irkimatsu]

All right, all right, let's do this... Eurovision rankings! Well, not so much a ranking because I'm putting them in alphabetical order by country, but little blurbs about how I feel about each song after looping the playlist for a couple of weeks, and what category I'm going to place them in. As a refresher:

Love: Top five. My absolute favorite songs, and the ones I'll do anything to see win or at least perform well. Caps and italic for my special, number one love.

Like: Didn't quite make it to the top five, but I still like it a lot! I'll probably keep it even after the Contest is over.

Okay: I can see its merit, and maybe I like an element or two of it, but overall, it just doesn't click with me and I won't miss it if it fails the semi. I’ll get it if it does make it, though.

Indifferent: I just can't bring myself to give a shit about it, and I really don't want to see it in the semi, especially not at the expense of a Loved song. Not so annoying that I can't stand to listen to it, but it doesn't bring me any joy, either.

Surprisingly, three categories won't be used this time - I can finally retire "bias" because there's no goofy/boring songs that I only like because they remind me of fandom; there aren't any songs that I feel make my life worse, so "hate" won't be used (good, after I embarrassed myself last year by putting the eventual winner there); and while there is a song for the "what" category, there always is in Eurovision... well... you'll see.

Okay, let's roll!

Albania: "Mall" by Eugent Bushpepa - Sorry, not feeling it. Indifferent.

Armenia: "Qami" by Sevak Khanagyan - I can tell he's trying, but like the above, this just isn't my thing and I'm not gonna linger on it. Indifferent.

Austria: "Nobody But You" by Cesar Sampson - Meh. There's worse, but there's better. I like the chorus well enough, mainly the way it bursts, but by the time it comes up, I'm bored. I'll say Okay for that.

Australia: "We Got Love" by Jessica Mauboy - After two years of not giving a shit about Australia and not understanding why they're still here, they've won me over again! I like cute, upbeat things like this. Like!

Azerbaijan: "X My Heart" by Aisel - It's cute enough! I don't think it stands out super well, but it still has a certain charm to it. Let's say Okay.

Belarus: "Forever" by Alekseev - Eh, it grew on me. I like synths, what can I say. Like. Maybe on the lower end of Like, since it does get outshone by a lot of other stuff I enjoy, but I don't feel right putting it in Okay, either.

Belgium: "A Matter Of Time" by Sennek - Reminds me of a Bond song. Sometimes I'm in the mood for that, so it's good for then, but "Rise Like A Phoenix" did it way better. Okay, because I'm feeling generous.

Bulgaria: "Bones" by Equinox - A little on the mellow side, but it has a calming effect I do enjoy. There's just better electronica out there, is all. Okay.

Croatia: "Crazy" by Franka - I do like the soulful element of it! It's not quite my thing, but I appreciate it for what it is, and if it has a major fanbase, I can understand why. Okay!

Cyprus: "Fuego" by Eleni Foureira - Something about this song hits me in all the right places. Fun as hell to walk to, fun as hell to sing along to, this one was a latecomer to my top five but now I can't make it leave. Love!

Czech Republic: "Lie To Me" Mikolas Josef - when I first heard this, I thought of it as a combination of "Don't" by Ed Sheeran, a song I like well enough when it's on the radio but never seek out on its own; and "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo, a song I can't stand. So why, why did this climb my ranking so quickly? It's such a damn earworm! I love it so much, Love, Love, Love! I think my only real complaints is all the f-bombs - not because I'm sensitive to cursing, but because I'm wondering how he's going to handle that on stage... I found a stage performance where he just went quiet instead of replacing them, and it just sounds awkward...

Denmark: "Higher Ground" by Rasmussen - Oh, this is awesome. Vikings! I had a bit of a viking phase in high school... blame E-type. I just love how grand this sounds, and I'm looking forward to seeing it on stage! Like! (As an aside... Sannie of Whigfield was also in the qualifiers, and while normally I'd be morally obligated to cheer for a Eurodance darling... "Boys On Girls" sucks, even by my cheesy standards. No way did it deserve to win over this. No Dolly Style flavored bitterness here!)

Estonia: "La Forza" by Elina Nechayeva - On one hand, this may not be my type of music... but holy shit, for something that's not my type of music, it's put together well! I'm impressed! I'm gonna say Okay just because I can't see myself keeping it after the Contest, but I wouldn't fault anyone if it won. The woman can belt! It's impressive!

Finland: "Monsters" by Saara Aalto - I kept putting this on and off my top five due to another song it was rotating with, but it finally landed on and hasn't moved since! Of course it's written by the same team that brought us "Heroes" in 2015! It's just one of those songs where I feel the music so deeply, and I love the mental illness awareness (according to another site I read), and I just... yes, yes, go Finland. Love!

France: "Mercy" by Madame Monsieur - This wins the questionable honor of being one of those songs that I can never remember no matter how many times it comes up. There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't care. There's worse, but I'm still Indifferent to it.

Germany: "You Let Me Walk Alone" by Michael Schulte - ...oh. Oh dear. I feel like I should at least be kind to this song, since it's about his dead father... I appreciate that sentiment, I can see it doing well on that merit, it's probably more artistically valid than something like "Lie To Me"... but I don't like it! I can not make myself care about this! Indifferent! Sorry! Don't kill me!

Georgia: "For You" by Iriao - No. I can't even think of anything interesting to say about it. No. I'm sure it's culturally relevant, and that's very nice for it and Eurovision should always have those songs... but that doesn't stop them from boring me to tears. Indifferent.

Greece: "Oneiro Mou" by Gianna Terzi - I'll call it a low Okay because I like it more than, say, Georgia or Armenia, but it's a cold compliment. I just feel bad for typing Indifferent on most of the non-English ones and this is one I felt like being nice to. Um... I like the strings?

Hungary: "Viszlat Nyar" by AWS - Holy shit this goes hard. I'm fussy about my rock, but damn, this is really, really good! There, I'm saying really nice things about a non-English song! I'd love to see this in the final for a change of pace! Like!

Iceland: "Our Choice" by Ari Olafsson - This song bores the crap out of a friend of mine, and god, I understand why. There's nothing here. When she said her least favorite was Iceland, I couldn't even remember what Iceland sent, and when I looked it up... yeah, this isn't noteworthy at all. Except for that screech toward the end, but I wouldn't exactly call that a point in this song's favor. Indifferent.

Ireland: "Together" by Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Ugh, boring. Sorry, no thanks. This doesn't grab me at all; this type of music never has a chance with me. Indifferent.

Israel: "Toy" by Netta - I love you, chicken lady! By all rights, this song belongs firmly in "What", between the chicken noises and all the pop culture references... but god, from the first time I listened to it, I've been hooked! It was the second or third song I listened to, and I got so stuck on it that it took a while for me to move on! This is LOVE, no doubt, and while I'm extremely surprised that a lot of people seem to agree with me, I'm not disappointed! Go Israel! ...isn't there a rule against mentioning copyrighted stuff, though? I remember when they had to change a line in "Cheesecake" because it mentioned Google... I wonder what'll happen here...?

Italy: "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente" by Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - I have a soft spot for how the Italian language sounds. Is it because I grew up with an Eiffel 65 CD as my first non-English album? Who knows! In any case, I like the vocal track on this a lot, and the music's no slouch, either, so for that, Like!

Latvia: "Funny Girl" by Laura Rizzotto - Oof, this one hurts. It's just so bitter and mournful... it gets what it needs done damn well, and I feel so bad for the narrator. Like, definitely. I like a good, angsty story.

Lithuania: "When We're Old" by Ieva Zasiauskaite - When I first listened to this song, I got hit by such a wave of feelings that I can't shake them even now. If those feelings were for a fictional character, I'd immediately pitch this into "bias", but since they're for a real person I love very, very much... it's a Like, even if I wouldn't say that about a song that sounds like this if the lyrics were about anything else. Leave me alone, I'm gay.

Macedonia: "Lost and Found" by Eye Cue - I like that tropical beat going on in the background, and the way it switches on and off. The whole song brings a smile to my face, and I'll give it a Like!

Malta: "Taboo" by Christabelle - It hits in all the right places, and what i mean when I call a song a builder. I love how it climbs at the minute point. Like!

Moldova: "My Lucky Day" by DoReDoS - I saw someone insult this song by saying it's no longer 2004, but to me, who grew up drenched in 2000′s Europop, that's a high compliment. Like "Toy", this one latched onto me the instant I first listened to it - maybe not quite as hard, but if "Toy" wasn't here, I'd have no complaints about making this my favorite. My... number one, so to speak! Love! (Also, anyone who has known me for more than 20 minutes and who has very basic Japanese knowledge would know why "number one" is one of my favorite compliments)

Montenegro: "Inje" by Vanja Radovanovic - Montenegro and I will never be friends. I've never, ever hoped for them to be in a final, they've always been either criminally bizarre or criminally boring... I just wish they stuck with being bizarre twice in a row. Sorry, Indifferent, this isn't my thing at all.

The Netherlands: "Outlaw In 'Em" by Waylon - If we had to have a country song this year, it could have have been far worse. It's another one that kinda grew on me for what it is. I get weirdly into it sometimes! You know what, I'll call this one a Like! I like it way better than predecessors like "Calm After The Storm" and "Slow Down", at any rate!

Norway: "That's How You Write A Song" by Alexander Rybak - Can I say something controversial here? I like this better than "Fairytale". Now, to make it clear, "Fairytale" is probably better, artistically - but I don't rank by art, I rank by fun, and while I do like "Fairytale" and believe it deserved the record it set, I have more fun with this one. It just barely missed my top five thanks to Finland, but I still really Like it, and I'm looking forward to how it does!

Poland: "Light Me Up" by Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - A fun little electronic thing! It's nothing spectacular, but I do really like the instrumental break. I'm feeling generous, let's call this one a Like.

Portugal: "O Jardim" by Claudia Pascoal - Portugal could stop competing in Eurovision and I wouldn't even notice. I'm serious - I'm constantly forgetting if they really did skip 2016 or if their song that year just made that little of an impression on me. This year hasn't changed a thing. Indifferent.

Romania: "Goodbye" by The Humans - This is one of those songs that I enjoy eventually, but it's annoying that it takes me half the song to get there, and I don't even find the latter half all that spectacular. It's just interesting enough to carry it up to Okay territory, and then it settles in there.

Russia: "I Won't Break" by Julia Samojlova - Congrats on actually getting to sing this time, Julia! Your song is... all right! It's Okay! Still proud of you for making it, though, even if I'm not overly excited about it!

San Marino: "Who We Are" by Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Oh this video is goofy. I love San Marino when they're goofy. It's no "Spirit Of The Night", but I don't think we're ever getting another "Spirit Of The Night", and the song's still fun. The rapping is hard to take seriously, but it adds a bit of cheesy flavor, and I do appreciate that. Firm Like!

Serbia: "Nova Deca" by Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - I have taken a full 90 seconds to think of anything to say about this, at which point the cool beat kicked in. I like the cool beat. Okay. I don’t like being mean to all the non-English ones, I gotta say something nice, all right?

Slovenia: "Hvala Ne" by Lea Sirk - This doesn't sound bad at all at first, but something about it gets old by the time it ends - it's like one catchy sound that wears its welcome quickly. Sometimes I get into it, sometimes I'm just not in the mood and I zone out. Okay.

Spain: "Tu Cancion" by Amaia & Alfred: Bored. Not as bored as when I listen to Portugal, but still bored. Indifferent.

Sweden: "Dance You Off" by Benjamin Ingrosso - Hello, low-rent Justin Timberlake! Okay, more like mid-rent? It's not like it's a bad song. Not the most fun "would fit in on American party radio" song ever in Eurovision, but it somehow clicks anyway. Probably a low Like, but a Like all the same!

Switzerland: "Stones" by ZiBBZ - It's not a major standout for me, but I can't say I dislike it, either. I can see why people like it! But I'm gonna say Okay, in a way that says more about its competition than the song itself. I far from hate it, but I can't quite put my finger on anything specific I love, either, so I'll put it there.

Ukraine: "Under The Ladder" by Melovin - It's a catchy one! I like how much life this one has to it. Like!

United Kingdom: Ah, hell, it's a cute one, so why not! I don't have much to say about it, but I think I Like it.

Songs in Like/Okay/Indifferent are capable of sliding into categories one above or below themselves, based on my generosity levels, mood, and, I dunno, my digestive status or something. My Loves are locked, though. No matter how politely Norway asks.

Looking forward to the show! And by that, I mean I'm looking forward to finding the results after I get home that Saturday!

[ashtail-scribbles-blog]

Found: One Stray, No Tags (Chapter Three)

Summary: Alfredo wants very few things in his life after his last gang falls apart. He wants a quiet life with his plants and his games. To make some connections. But Los Santos is a grinder, it takes people like him and twists them, bends them to its will.

He makes a mistake. He crosses the wrong people and now he has to serve in the most feared crew in an effort to avoid a harsher punishment. But in a world where magic is in half the population and there’s a family in the crew who holds his leash, maybe he can find a something a little better than debts paid.

Rating: M

Tags: GTA AU, Magic, Crew as Family, Found Family

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

At ten to ten the next morning, just as the orderly was settling Alfredo's arm in a sling, there was a knock. "Come in." He called out and a there was a brief hesitance before it opened to reveal a runty looking kid in slacks and a polo.

"I'm your escort this morning, Mr. Diaz. Are you ready to go?" Alfredo looked towards his orderly who nodded.

"You're as good as you're going to be, dude. I've put the pain killers and antibiotics in your pack. Caleb will be by nightly for the next week for some spot healing." He turned towards the escort and handed him a manilla envelope. "These are his care instructions. They're to go straight to Mr. Ramsey or Ms. Pattillo, whichever you see first." The escort nodded, though Alfredo swore he saw his face crease in annoyance for a minute before it smoothed back out into a mask of professionalism.

"Of course. Now, right this way Mr. Diaz. The boss is expecting us by ten-thirty and there's a little backed up traffic on our route." Alfredo grabbed his little pack of medical supplies and medications and followed the escort out of the facility to a sleek black SUV. It took a little bit of doing, and the escort was no help, but eventually he made it into the SUV and settled himself in.

He was seldom on this side of the city, so he tried to enjoy the sights of it, even as nerves built in his gut. While he knew he wasn't being driven towards his death, he was still understandably nervous. He was restricted in his activities for the next week, Caleb had said as much, but as soon as his spot healing was done, who knew what kinds of things they'd make him do.

"We're here, Mr. Diaz. You'll go in the front and the building secretary will let you up. I need to get the car put away and find someone to hand these documents off to." Alfredo sighed and grabbed his pack, shimmying out of the vehicle carefully. He hissed as his chest twisted a little. God this was so annoying. He felt like a kid waiting for his first day at a new school. Except with a lot more guns and explosions.

The lobby of the building was all sleek glass and silver metal and he felt out of place in his scrubs and looking beat up. Luckily, the front desk was easy to find and the secretary was warm and welcoming. She compared his face against an image one of the bosses had given her and then handed him a paper badge. It would get him in the penthouse elevator today, until a more permanent solution was settled upon.

And at last he was on his way up, the glass elevator giving him a fairly spectacular view of the city. Ten floors, twenty, up and and up and up until it dinged on the 70th floor. The penthouse. He swiped the badge and the elevator slid open, revealing a hallway. A very nice hallway. Soft cream carpets and dark wood paneling and various plants lent it a very nice look, and one would never guess that it was the entryway to the home of one of the most feared crews in the states. Scattered about were pairs of shoes and jackets, little touches that made it look lived in.

"You must be Alfredo!" He would never admit the noise that left him as he startled at the new voice and his head whipped in the direction of the voice. The woman the voice belonged to was reasonably tall, curvy, with long red locks falling around her shoulders. It took his brain a minute to put a name to a face.

Jack Pattillo, second in command and ace pilot of the FAHC crew.

"No need to be scared." At Alfredo's incredulous look she chuckled a little. "Well, not so scared anyway. Geoff had to deal with a last minute problem, so I'll be handling introductions today. Come on in for now. I just put breakfast on the table and the others should be waking up shortly." She turned around and started in, obviously expecting Alfredo to follow.

So follow he did. He paused just long enough to toe off the sandals the hospital had given him and then padded in after her. The penthouse was just as neat and modern as the hallway, but definitely looked lived in. It was open and bright, the carpet underfoot sinfully soft. Scattered around were books and games and hoodies and other odds and ends. It was a home. Did they all live here?

"It's nice, isn't it? Took a while to get everything right but we make it work." He nodded and followed her into what he guessed was a dining room. The table was dark wood and practically groaning under the weight of all the food that was on it. Eggs, bacon, toast, waffles and more. At his surprised look Jack laughed, the sound echoing in the bright room like bells.

"Geoff invited B-Team over as well, so you can meet everyone in one swoop. Even without them though the lads eat enough for double the people and Ryan's no slouch either." She settled herself comfortably at a seat to the left of the head chair and gestured to the chair next to her. "Help yourself while it's fresh and the hoard hasn't gotten to it."

He placed his bag under the chair and grabbed the plate. He was still on soft solids, would be for another week thanks to the combination of injuries and medications, but in this case he wasn't limited overmuch in his options. A piece of the lighter toasted bread with butter, a scoop of eggs and a smaller waffle drenched in syrup were placed onto his plate. He deliberated over a few other things before deciding against them. No sense in eating himself sick.

"You don't want anymore?" Alfredo shook his head. Even without his restricted choices, his appetite had always been weird when he was on anything stronger than tylenol. Instead of pushing it, as he feared she would, Jack merely smiled at him gently and dished her own plate. They ate in surprisingly comfortable silence, and while it didn't completely do away with his apprehension, it was nice.

Slowly, people began to filter in through the door. Most only spared him a glance before descending on the food and some not even that. By the time the table was full, lacking only Geoff and Trevor, Alfredo had been coaxed into a cup of tea by Jack and was watching as everyone slowly came alive. Conversation flickered to life around the table, never breaking a quiet murmur but there was a feeling of burgeoning chaos in the room, like they were just waiting for the thing that would set them off.

Finally, as most people were finishing eating, Jack sat forward in her chair. Instantly everyone's attention was on her and, by default, him as well. "So, as everyone knows, we've procured ourselves someone for the crew." That was...a nice way for putting it. "Everyone, this is Alfredo. Once he's healed up, he'll be driving and sniping for us, as well as some day to day errands." The table murmured greetings and Alfredo nodded, trying to look more confident than he felt.

"Alfredo, going around the table starting next you is Matt, Lindsay, Mica, Andy, Larry, Michael, Gavin, Jeremy and Ryan. You've met Geoff, Trevor and Caleb already. Matt, Mica, Andy and Larry are B-Team. Lindsay runs B-Team and they handle the minions, security and minor deals." He waved with his good arm and got assorted waves and grins back.

"Jeremy, Michael and Gavin do their own thing outside of heists, and they handle a lot of the mid-teir and high-end deals, especially with our subordinate crews. Ryan handles information and day-to-day enforcement." Alfredo figured he also handled gathering that information, using whatever means required but he wasn't stupid enough to do more than think that.

"Ryan's requested your help starting next week. You'll be helping me in the meantime, and we'll use that time to get you an ID for the building and get you geared up." As Jack was talking the others were leaving. Michael, Gavin and Jeremy hovered for a bit before Jack sent them a sharp look and they scuttled, all without saying anything. Ryan leveled him with a blue gaze, black hair cascading around his shoulders.

And then he smiled.

Alfredo startled again in his chair and Ryan's gaze turned amused and warm. This was the Vagabond. Why was he smiling at him?! Ryan rose from the table and started gathering up the dishes. "I'll handle this. You look exhausted. You should rest while you can. The Lads are...excited you're here and they won't be so easily cowed this afternoon." The man set about his work with a contented easiness and Jack seemed to agree with his sentiment because she grabbed his bag and began to usher him out of the dining hall.

"Caleb warned us you'll be easily tired for the first week, so this week is gonna be nice and easy. And he's right. I love those boys but they're not gonna be content until they've cornered you for a while, so the more rested you are the better." Cornered him? Oh he didn't like the sound of that really, but he doubted there was much he could do.

The hall split off in a couple directions. "Down the left and right halls are the bedrooms. You'll be on the same sides as the Lads, since it's the larger one. Down the center hall is the office, the planning room and a small armory. We own this entire building. On the floor below us is the gym and the entertainment area. Your pass will get you there as well, so feel free to come and go in your free time."

Her hand was gentle but firm on his back. They passed three doors, two across from each other and one by itself. Each had a sign painted on it, an emblem. There was the bear on one door and across from that the door was painted with a golden eagle. Down the hall a pretty decent way, almost startlingly so, was a door painted with a monster truck. The door across from the monster truck was blank but there they stopped.

"You'll need to pick an emblem eventually, but this is your room. There's some clothes in the en suite if you need them. Someone will wake you when they want you." Here she smiled, and it filled him with a lot of warmth as she handed him his pack. "I know there were some...concerns about your apartment, but I think you'll like this." She patted his shoulder and wandered off out of sight.

Alfredo didn't move at first, almost afraid to. What was he going to find behind the door? There was really only one way to find out, and he could already feel tiredness dragging at his body. He just wanted to lie down somewhere and sleep it off. He was due another dose of medication as well. Steeling himself, he opened the door and stepped in.

He stopped in surprise. The room was...nicer than he expected? He had been expecting something spartan, a place they would have him close at hand for when they needed him, but he hadn't expected them to do much beyond provide him a place.

The floor had that same sinfully soft carpet as the hallways in a soft slate gray and there were touches of seafoam and grass green and white in the bedding and the couch. It was bright and warm and he felt...not safe, because he didn't think he could ever feel safe this deep in enemy territory but, settled maybe? Less like he was under the gun and more like he was protected enough for the moment to wind down.

He looked around a little more, trying to get the lay of the land. His plants were here! Settled around the room his lovingly cultivated ivies and ferns were vibrant splashes of color, his little cactus sat on the bedside table and his succulents were in pride of place next to a sturdy looking desk where sat his laptop and the unmistakable shapes of his sketchbooks. There was a reasonably sized TV across from the couch and his game collection was neatly shelved.

It was all his stuff. Everything that had made his apartment home was here. Had they done this? Why? To make him feel welcome? Or to lure him into a false sense of security? Were they playing a long con here? Make him feel welcome, like he was part of the crew, one of them? What would happen then? Would Geoff call his debt paid and he'd find himself out on his own again, bereft of the people he had to come to-what? Protect? Call his own? Love? The trinket on his wrist tinkled as he tugged at his hair angrily. He pulled his arm down to look at his wrist and disgust, hot and suffocating, pooled in his chest. Collared. Like a fucking dog. This had to be a mockery of their tattoos, letting everyone know who owned him now, but making it obvious it was only temporary.

He groaned aloud and fished into his pack for his medicine and a bottle of water, with a handy flip cap for one-handed use, and he took his dose and growled softly to himself. He was so tired, and his chest was beginning to throb in time with his heartbeat. The bed looked amazing, huge and soft, with plenty of pillows. It was obviously going for welcoming, but all it did was cause Alfredo's head to churn with distrust. He stood there for a minute, oscillating between heading for the bed or the couch or even the floor but eventually exhaustion and pain and medication won out and he trudged towards the bed. He peeled back the covers and slid underneath, an involuntary happy sigh leaving him as he was cradled by plush blankets

He'd done this before, in the time before he clawed his way up the ranks of IGN. Been at the mercy of someone stronger than him, in a higher position of power than him. It was simple, when it boiled down to it. Keep his responses to "yes sir" and "no sir", eyes down, prepared to roll over and show his belly if it made his life easier, kept him out of danger. Back then it had been a matter of getting fed, of keeping himself out of the basement or the ring when the other kids couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. Now it was a matter of keeping himself alive, but the principal was the same. He could do this, just had to find that frame of mind again.

It took some doing to get comfortable, to get the disgusting amount of pillows present to cradle his injuries comfortably but soon, he was drifting off to sleep, his mind still a jumble and his gut still churning, but medicine and exhaustion won out in the end.

[frankys-playlist]

Story of the Year - Wolves (2017) Track by track

Some of Frontman Dan Marsala’s most personal lyrics about love, life struggles and parenthood/family-life

2. How Can We Go On There’s a theme of hopelessness I felt when listening to this and there’s a line that stood out to me the most: “We say that we’re alive but all I see are empty coffins calling out our names.” Usually 90 percent of the time Ryan writes all the demo of the music and sends them to me. Then I write the vocals and send them back. This song was the only one where I actually wrote and recorded everything. So it’s pretty much my song and it’s the wildcard of the record. It made sense for it to go first because we wanted to open up with something kickass and uptempo. Lyrically a lot of the record is about my personal life and stuff I went through, a lot of it relates to the band and how that has changed over the years. How our lives changed completely from being a huge band, to going away and being on hiatus and trying to adapt to the normal world. I think this song relates more to the band’s side. How can we go on? Should we even continue with this thing that we love so much? Is it worth it? I mean it can relate to a million different things but that was my mindset. “All I see are empty coffins” was just seeing all the negatives of the future or whatever you’re trying to accomplish.

3. Bang Bang This is the perfect title for this song, because I can already see people singing the hook at concerts! I’m sure it had to be a good time recording it in the studio. That was the first one we finished and the early version ended up being the same as the album version. We were going to release it a year before this record. But we decided we weren’t far enough long and didn’t want to put one song out. It was the first one where we were like, “Yes this is Story of the Year. This is where we need to be.” It has everything: it’s heavy, has a thumping beat, catchy chorus and still badass. The lyrics just flew right out. It kind of just happened and we said, “Cool, that’s the comeback!”

4. Youth When I first heard this, it gave me a national anthem vibe. It’s like a rally cry for well, the youth. Ryan is an amazing guitar player and he loves to shred all the time. But there was a lack of shredding on this record because we were trying to make more anthemic songs that would be more about lyrics than just guitars. I think he felt there was a lack of some of that and told us, “Hey I wrote this cool thing and I don’t know if everyone is gonna hate it. If it sucks it’s whatever but I think it can go into ‘I Swear I’m Okay’ really good.” It’s kind of like “Eruption” by Van Halen or something. It’s a solo on a record for no reason. But like I said it was a time where we can do whatever we want and it doesn’t matter if you put a minute-long guitar solo in a song. Who cares? It’s art. It’s fun and definitely sets the stage for the next song.

5. I Swear I’m Okay Well speaking of lyrics, I think this song is one of the more personal ones on the record. It stands out to me the most because it’s so melodic and tender compared to the other ones. We knew that one was going to be different and a stand out to the other songs from the early stages. As soon as he sent the music over, the chorus just came out of me. It’s definitely one of the deeper lyrical songs on the record. It’s about growing up and becoming a different person that what you thought you would be—whether or not that’s good or bad. Or hiding the fact that maybe things aren’t okay and maybe I’m not as happy as I lead myself on to be. It’s more of a letter to a person telling them you’re sorry for the way you are. It’s probably my favorite on the record. It’s uncomfortable to talk about.

6. Miracle When I heard this song I immediately thought of the Page Avenue and In the Wake of Determination days. It reminds me of old SOTY but more grown up. It’s definitely one of my favorite songs on the album.

Yeah me too. That one was not one of the easy ones. I wrote three or four choruses for it and had different versions floating around. With that opening riff, Ryan was like “is that too Anberlin for us?” They’re one of our best touring friends of all time. So it’s kind of like an homage and it’s f-cking awesome. It ended up being one of our favorite songs but it was a lot of work to get it there. I think it might end up being a single, but I don’t know how any of that works anymore [laughs].

7. Can Anybody Hear Me? When I heard this song, the first thing I said was “Wow, this production is beautiful.” But that’s something you don’t associate with Story of the Year. You usually think post-hardcore. But this reminds me of something Coldplay would do.

Yeah it’s a good theme. It’s just a song about feeling alone and wondering if you’re connecting with anybody or if anybody cares at all. It’s a hopeful-sounding song but I guess it’s very negative in a way. Everybody feels alone at some point and I think it’s a good one that people can connect to on a lot of different levels. We weren’t scared to get weird like that and try stuff that doesn’t sound like Story of the Year, and that was one example for sure.

8. A Part of Me This production is a lot bolder compared to the other songs. It reminds me of a twisted love story, which I thought was cool.

First off, I want to shout out Aaron Sprinkle who did almost 80 percent of the production on our record and just killed it! He added such a great vibe to all these songs than if we went to another producer. “A Part of Me” is actually a letter to my son. 

Wow I would’ve never guessed that! 

Yeah it’s a big metaphor. Any of the more lovey-dovey songs are more about parenthood and children than about conventional love songs. But I didn’t necessarily want this to be obvious and wanted people to connect with it however they want. It’s just being thankful that this life has some into your life and how amazing that is. It’s definitely one of my favorites on the record lyrically. It was one of the first ones I wrote as well, and I was like “Man I’m not afraid to get sentimental and deep about my life right now.” That was a good feeling and opened up the floodgates for the rest of the record.

9. Give Up My Heart With every album someone puts out, you always have that one sappy song. And this is it! Was it about you becoming a dad for the first time? It was about my second child. I had written “A Part of Me” and I have a daughter as well. So I said this one would be more about that. But it’s a similar idea lyrically. It’s about being scared of how much you can love someone and how crazy that feeling is. Just freaking out and saying, “Oh my god, don’t make me feel this way. There’s no way I can love something this much.” It tried to make it metaphorical and weird enough where it still has a creepy vibe. It should be in a movie trailer or something, with the big drums and the chorus. It’s just a cool song all around.

10. The Eternal Battle For Mike Cronin’s Soul (To Be Alive Again) Of course everyone is going to be asking who the hell Mike Cronin is!

We crowd-funded the record and one of the pledge things was that you can have a song named after you. A man named Mike Cronin was the one who purchased that. He also bought a studio visit too, so he came in and got to hang out with us. That song is one of the more upbeat and heavy ones. You obviously can’t name a love song that, or something sentimental and slow. So I said, “what if we make it kind of silly?” We didn’t tell him at all [laughs]! It’s one of those classic Story of the Year songs that kicks ass. It’s about falling in love with music, living that dream and not wanting it to go away.

11. My Home This is a hodge-podge of different sounds. You have the chants in the beginning, those blippy synths and then the piano melody. When you put a bunch of different sounds together, it doesn’t really work. But this one definitely does.

It was one of the last ones we wrote and we weren’t sure if we liked it or not. We had over 30 demos for this record and Aaron Sprinkle came in and picked the ones for it. And they were pretty much the same songs we were going for. The bridge is my favorite part of the whole song. It was the last thing I wrote for the record and it takes the song to a whole different level.

This probably sounds so strange. But if you strip down the drum pattern of the song, it kind of mimics a tropical pop beat. I feel like if you took that and gave it to someone like Justin Bieber, it could become a pop song!

Yeah the kick drum goes four on the floor for the whole song. It’s definitely the poppiest song of the record. But we tried to keep it as a rock song as much as we could.

12. Goodnight, My Love”

Love is one of the biggest themes of this album. Why did you guys decide to go down that route and showcase the different aspects of love?

The last couple of records had a lot of social and political lyrics, and I think it didn’t really connect much with people. So I wanted this one to definitely be as personal as possible instead of what’s happening in the world. I think there’s a time for both, but it was time to focus on that. This one definitely relates to my kids again, as well as my wife. Just my whole family and the struggle of how can I support them, what is the future and losing your mind in the process. It’s about going f-cking insane and all you want to do is take care of your family. But it’s not an easy process in the music business nowadays. Anything artistically in that world…it’s like the wild wild west out there.

13. Like Ghosts I wanted to get the story behind this one, because I couldn’t really figure it out myself. It seems like a breakup song on first listen.

This is a cool one as well. It’s kind of ‘80s pop but in a dark way. It’s a bit Peter Gabriel-ish and we wanted to explore that. It’s not really a breakup song. It’s a love song and an apology for being the way I am. The chorus goes, “Don’t tell me I’m not all that you need anymore.” Basically a plea to keep dealing with my bullshit. The first verse is saying I would do anything for you. The second is verse I’m sorry for the way I am and don’t let it go. It’s a different kind of love song.

14. Praying for Rain This is the longest song on the album. How did you guys decide on it being the final scene of this cinematic journey?

The original demo was called “Interstellar Voyage.” Ryan sent this epic long thing to me and I was like, “Okay this is three songs. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?” I loved it right away: it was dark and heavy and very Deftones-y. They’re one of our favorite bands of all time. We didn’t have anything like that. Eventually we structured it a bit better. We didn’t know if we should cut it up and make it a shorter song, or leave it long and make it this big epic ending. The whole second half just goes on this journey into another place and it meets up at the end. It doesn’t feel as long as it is. 

I think it’s because you have that spoken word section in the middle. 

Yeah that was a last minute decision. How can we fill this song up and have it all make sense? And I had this spoken word idea. Nobody even heard that until the mixes were all done because I did it after the record. Lyrically it’s one of my favorites and is a journey throughout my life. Everything from kids to the band to the struggles—it basically encompasses the entire record. We never even attempted a seven-minute song before, so it’s cool! I love it.

[aryanarecords]

INTERVIEW WITH RYAN WISE

I have absolutely no idea where to start with this.  I have been thinking about how I would start this article for months, and now that the moment is here I still don’t know.  Not in a bad way at all, it’s just that the person I interviewed has changed the way I view the world, a lot.  There aren’t many words to describe it.  I guess I’ll start with how we met, which is also kind of hazy.  Bear with me. I was in the common area at the NYU hall I stayed at for two weeks over the summer.  I was trying to play pool when I saw two guys dressed in really cool clothes.  One had grey overalls with an orange polo shirt and yellow sweatband on.  The other one had a black tee, Comme Des Garcons sneakers, and a bandana with flames.  I guess it was the vibes they were giving off, but I somehow managed to approach them.  I learned their names were Justin Miller and Ryan Wise.  You’re probably thinking Justin Miller sounds really familiar. It’s because I interviewed him! You can read it HERE. (By the way, Justin was wearing the overalls and Ryan was wearing the bandana with flames.)  I don’t remember what we talked about, or how I even approached them, but I told them how a bunch of us jam out every night in the basement and they should come.  They did end up coming, and it was probably the best jam sesh we had.  We even ended up writing a song all together.   On my last night at NYU, I don’t really know how Ryan and I found each other, but I feel like that’s how we grew closer.  We ended up in the jam room together and he started talking about his experience at NYU and ended up showing me a song he wrote.  I fell so in love with it and I promised to share his music on here when it’s finally out.  When I went back home, I had some stupid drama going on and he was always there to listen.  In fact, he would share his problems with me too, which would become the basis for his EP.  I specifically remember talking about how NYU sick we were, and how we felt so at home there.  We felt like we belonged.  I don’t think my NYU experience would have been the same if I hadn’t met THE Ryan Wise himself.  This was honestly all over the place, but without further ado (can’t believe I just said that, OK), here is my favorite interview to date! 

Give us some basic facts about yourself!

Name: Ryan Alexander Wise Born Day: 9/13/2000 Sign: Virgo Favorite Food: Rice Favorite Color: Black Base: Central Ohio Nicknames: Whatever you want, but don't call me RyRy or nigga if you ain't black.

How and when did you start making music?

I wrote my first song when I was a toddler and my dad recorded me singing it and like put music behind and it and everything. It was hella extra. I've come up with songs for as long as I can remember, but I guess the turning point was when I was 11 and I got my grandma's old iPad. I downloaded GarageBand on there and started producing and have been going ever since.

Who are some of your musical influences?

I wouldn't be doing any of this if it wasn't for Michael Jackson. When he died I looked him up to see what all the fuss was about, and was literally obsessed with his discography for 18 months straight. My current favorite artists are Kanye West, Frank Ocean, and Childish Gambino, so I'm sure they have a big influence on me. However, whatever influences my art is really what I'm listening to while I'm creating it.

What have you been listening to lately?

I've been trying to broaden my scope and get away from hip hop a little more since that's been all I’ve listened to for like 6 years now. Willow Smith and Tyler Cole came out with amazing albums this year, especially for how young they both are. Hella inspiring. Speaking of the Smith family, “SYRE” by Jaden Smith has been in rotation since its debut. “Chamber of Reflection” by Mac DeMarco, “Lone Wolf” and “Cub” by Thundercat, and “Swell” by Archy Marshall are favorites now too.

What was your inspiration for your new EP, Room & Bored?

My time at NYU this summer. I was working on a different project going into my month long stay there, but I ended up writing some new stuff while there and as a reflection of my time there when I got back. I looked at what I wrote (R&B’s three songs in particular) and realized that I had something there. I dropped everything else and started making those, because I felt an urgency to get that out there. Through the help of people at NYU, like you Aryana, I finally had enough confidence to release a body of work. NYU influenced what I wrote about, how it sounded, its title, aesthetic, everything.

This is a picture I took of Ryan in the jam room on the last night.  He was performing one of the songs he wrote during his stay at NYU.  Bad pic, but high quality sentiment.

How long did it take you to write and produce R&B?

I wrote 227 in a couple minutes one day at the beginning of my stay in New York. Same with 908 but like two weeks later. 197 amassed itself over a couple of days after I got back and was eventually trimmed down from 9 minutes to 5. I then produced the bulk of it through August and kind of sat on it, making tweaks until I told myself I had to put it out and tweeted “november 1st” to hold myself to releasing it on that date. So all together a little over 3 months.

How did you think of the title, Room & Bored?

I'm still kinda iffy on the title. I like it, a lot, but not sure that it really connects with the story of the project much. It’s playing on Room and Board obviously, and I think it’s clever and fits within my aesthetic, but the EP doesn't really convey a sense of boredom. Maybe 227, since it’s about suggesting that fun should be had rather than describing the fun. I don't know. But since it was based on my experience at a college, I wanted that to be incorporated into the title. I wanted this to be a project where different people can experience it differently based on their relation to me. So if you just happen to find this on SoundCloud, you might think I'm a college student. If you know me, you probably know that I was at NYU for a part of my summer and will get that it’s a reference to that. If you were at NYU and were good friends with me, you might get more things: who the songs about, the events that inspired the songs, the room numbers’ significance, and the title plays into that.

Each song title is a number, what do those mean?

Each is a reference to a room that was significant to the circumstances that inspired the songs. 227 was my friend Anthony's room, and that's where we would hang out and party most of the time. Since that song deals with themes of not necessarily fitting in at the party, but wanting to because “she” does, I named it after the room where I felt that. 908 was another friend of mine’s room, where an interaction happened between me and someone else. To fully feel and release the emotions that were ignited as a result of that interaction, I wrote 908. I also learned that it was the room number of my other friend, on the opposite wing of the dorm, and coincidentally it applies to things that happened there too (coincidence = the universe stunting on you with Jay-Z double entendres). 197 has to do with where I live. Since I wrote it after returning home from New York and it was a reflection on my experience there, I named it after where I was at the time.

What’s your dream venue to perform at?

I'd love to say like Madison Square Garden, but that seems hella overwhelming. Maybe like the Roxy, because I'd love to be in a more intimate setting with people that know my music better than I do. I’d take a ton of those over one MSG performance where 60% of the people there only know that one song that charted.

What genre would you define your music as?

I'd love to say Alternative, which to me just means the industry doesn't know what to call this, but right now I'd say hip hop or alt hip hop. I'm still very much in that state of mind. My ear is farther along than my voice, if you pick up what I'm putting down.

What was the first record or CD you bought?

I don't remember the first song or album I spent money on (it was probably trash and definitely on iTunes), but the first physical album I bought was Jay-Z’s “Black Album” on vinyl. Didn't have a record player yet. Hadn't even heard the album in full. I just saw it and impulse bought it because I felt like it. Listened to it later, and fortunately, it’s amazing.

Who would you want to open for?

Opening for Kanye would be dope but I'd probably be crying too hard to perform. Opening for Frank Ocean would be dope but I know everyone would forget about it as soon as Frank walked on stage. Maybe Kevin Abstract. Yeah, that would be dope. But opening for any of them would be a privilege and I would be so geeked to do so.

Any advice you have for young/ local/ up and coming artists?

Keep grinding. Don't let people discourage you. Yeah, not everyone gets to be a star, but you'll never be one if you let that get in your way. Don't aim for fame, aim for happiness. At least that's what I'm doing, and I hope it works out. Making connections with other, artistic peers can be very helpful. I wouldn't have R&B if it wasn't for people like Aryana and Justin (JUM The Lover) and others that I've become close to. They’ll help inspire you, make you feel at home if you're in a place where people don't tend to think like you, and will hook you up if you can't think of another verse and need a feature.

Can we expect more music from you? Is yes, when!!??!

Of course you can, but I don't want to give a date that I most likely won't keep. When it comes, it will probably be another EP, but longer this time. I'm not ready to come out with a full album yet. I don't know why. I have enough material, but need a concept or theme to tie it all together. If everything goes as planned, my next EP will be called COVER and you should look out for it.

Is there anything else you want to add?

If you've listened to R&B thank you so much. Even if you hated it, at least you tried. If you haven't, please give it a shot. The whole thing isn't even 10 minutes long. Support young artists. Retweet, reblog, repost, share, like, favorite everything by the young artists you know. Even if it’s not that great to you, it might be to someone else who’s in your sphere and wouldn't come across it otherwise. Listen to Room & Bored, or don't, it’s your prerogative, and why be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic when you can just be quiet?

You can listen to Ryan’s debut EP Room&Bored HERE

Rock On,

Aryana